What’s our cut of the settlement?

From the Daily Record:

NJ gets $837.7M in nationwide mortgage and foreclosure settlement

New Jersey’s share of the $25 billion mortgage settlement announced Thursday is expected to bring financial relief to at least some of the state’s homeowners who are facing foreclosure or owe more than their homes are worth, analysts said.

For homeowners in that category, though, it’s no slam dunk. Banks still will need to be relatively assured that homeowners can make their modified mortgage payments, they said.
Homeowners “have a better chance,” said Patrick J. O’Keefe, director of economic research for J.H. Cohn, an accounting firm based in Roseland. “But this is a partial solution.”

The U.S. government and 49 state attorneys general, including New Jersey, reached an agreement with the nation’s five biggest mortgage lenders – Bank of America Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co., Wells Fargo & Co., Citigroup Inc., and Ally Financial Inc. – to settle charges that the companies cut corners to foreclose on homes and deceived customers about loan modifications.

With the government unable to solve the puzzle, prices have declined so much that 310,000 homeowners in New Jersey – about 16 percent – owe more than their homes are worth, according to Jeffrey Otteau, president of the Otteau Valuation Group in East Brunswick.

New Jersey is in line to receive $837.7 million, state Attorney General Jeffrey S. Chiesa said. That money will be used to modify and refinance loans. It will go to pay for borrowers who “suffered servicing abuse” and were foreclosed on. And it will help pay for state housing programs.

The settlement affects only customers whose mortgages are owned and serviced by the five companies in the agreement. It’s an important distinction because the companies might have sold some mortgages to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, government-backed companies whose customers aren’t part of the agreement.

It isn’t clear how many New Jersey homeowners would qualify, but the five companies represent 60 percent of the industry, the state said.

The program, because of its complexity, could take three years to complete, the state said.

How much of a difference will it make? Observers were torn.

“It might need $1 trillion to really solve the problem, but maybe this will be enough to take people in the process of foreclosure … start to make performing loans,” said Joel Greenberg, chief executive officer of Novadebt, a Freehold Township credit counselor. “That’s got to help the situation, but it’s still the middle of a crisis. I don’t see this whole logjam breaking immediately.”

This entry was posted in Housing Recovery, New Jersey Real Estate, Politics, Risky Lending. Bookmark the permalink.

117 Responses to What’s our cut of the settlement?

  1. Punch My Ticket says:

    Good evening, New Jersey.

    Line up for your slice of pie over on the left there. No shoving, please.

  2. Gimme that pie, or I’ll shoot you.

  3. grim says:

    Some more coverage from the Star Ledger:

    U.S. settlement with mortgage servicers will deliver nearly $838 million to N.J.

    Economists and bank industry watchers say the settlement, labeled the largest-ever joint federal-state accord, is a step in the right direction toward improving the housing market. Through a mix of loan modifications and refinancings of so-called underwater loans, it could ease the burden on millions of homeowners, providing them with extra discretionary income that can be poured elsewhere in the economy.

    The relief could send fewer properties into foreclosure, leading to less downward pressure on prices, and help unclog the pipeline for foreclosures in the state, said Patrick O’Keefe, director of economic research with J.H. Cohn in Roseland.

    “This settlement and resolution of legal and administrative issues create the necessary conditions for the market to clear. They don’t necessarily relieve all the pain and disruption that will occur in that process,” he said.

    New Jersey ranks third nationwide with 10.6 percent of homeowners who are 90 or more days delinquent on their mortgage, compared to the national average of 7.3 percent, according to CoreLogic, which studies the real estate market. Nearly 16 percent of homeowners in New Jersey, or 254,000 loans, are “seriously underwater,” meaning borrowers owe at least 25 percent more on their mortgage than their property is worth, according to RealtyTrac, which monitors housing figures nationwide.

    Foreclosure filings in New Jersey’s state court were down 81 percent last year compared to 2010, according to court figures. But there is a backlog of 50,000 to 100,000 unprocessed foreclosures because of delays caused by investigations into how lenders handled their paperwork, according to the Department of Community Affairs.

    New Jersey does not have yet an estimate for how many homeowners will benefit from the program, but the attorney general’s office expects the number to be “substantial.” Of the amount it is netting, about $762 million will go directly to helping homeowners, Chiesa said.

  4. Mocha says:

    25 billion towards 500 billion worth of negative equity, really?

  5. Mike says:

    Meanwhile Ward & June Cleaver get squat. Hey Wally looks like dad takes it up the arse because he does everthing by the book. Shut up and go to sleep Beaver you’re a real creep.

  6. Only idiots pay.

    All the rules are out the window. TPTB has declared war on all of us.

  7. Brian says:

    I don’t want it anymore.

  8. Confused in NJ says:

    5.Mike says:
    February 9, 2012 at 9:06 pm
    Meanwhile Ward & June Cleaver get squat. Hey Wally looks like dad takes it up the arse because he does everthing by the book. Shut up and go to sleep Beaver you’re a real creep.

    Sad but true. Imagine Ward & June Cleaver watching Modern Family on TV?

  9. Confused in NJ says:

    I bought the whole “Leave it to Beaver” series on DVD. I show one to my youngest grandson Daniel each time he comes over. If I forget, he says I want to watch the Beaver. If you start them young enough they actually learn being good rather then dysfunctional. When he got his Valentines Day card yesterday from us, he said to my daughter Grandpa should send me money, then he won’t have any for himself. He’s my favorite.

  10. SX says:

    Only the shadow knows…..

  11. Brian says:

    This Guy’s experience with Bank of America is exactly why I prefer doing business with community banks or credit unions.

    http://www.dailyrecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2012302090028

    Nothing sucks more than getting lost in the vast bureaucracy of a to big to fail bank.

  12. Proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free HEHEHE says:

    Clot,

    Over the course of the past couple of years Congress and the O-man have passed laws to increase monitoring of our internet activity, allowed the use of drones over US soil, and allowed for the indefinite arrest and detention of US citizens without trial. They’ve staged riot control activities, including joint activities between the armed forces and the police, in several major cities. This is on top of all the crazy restrictive sh*t Shrub passed.

    Why are they doing all this? Oh yeah its because of those middle eastern people who don’t look like us- wink, wink. I can’t wait for my meals of genetically modified corn mush and the high-fructose corn syrup beverage of my choice at the local re-education center. Rumor is you won’t be allowed to leave until you sing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA” word for word and shed a genuine tear when you finish.

  13. Mike says:

    Confused – 8 Ward and June had Eddie Haskell to deal with who I’m sure is waiting in line since he probably was a borrower who “suffered servicing abuse”

  14. Shore Guy says:

    Perhaps we can divert some if the settlement money to build an addition to Leavenworth

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2012/02/09/gIQA21Ui2Q_story.html

  15. JJ says:

    Wally you were a little hard on the Beaver last night.

  16. 3B says:

    This won’t do one thing for the housing market. The housing market is healing on it’s own as prices continue to fall.High housing prices are nto healthy. They do nothing for the younger generation.

  17. gary says:

    New Jersey is in line to receive $837.7 million, state Attorney General Jeffrey S. Chiesa said. That money will be used to modify and refinance loans. It will go to pay for borrowers who “suffered servicing abuse” and were foreclosed on. And it will help pay for state housing programs.

    I really don’t know the words to say. It’s so sad that it’s hysterical. The level of stupidity across the whole spectrum is something I just can’t comprehend.

  18. gary says:

    Italics off, I think.

  19. JJ says:

    Actually long term this might be good for housing. But short term, GMAC, BAC, JPM and Wells Fargo who were fearful to foreclose in some cases now have greenlight to do it. Inventory overhang in 2012 will start to workout via principal reductions, refinancing, shortsales and foreclosures.

    Bright side is next fall/winter might be a good time to buy. Good prices, banks moving inventory, owners with principal reduction homes can now sell without taken a huge loss. Plus near bottom of cycle buying gives you a good chance to grieve taxes. Setting you up as a January 2012 homeowner, combining low rates, good prices and chance to lower taxes. However, inflation is still two percent and mortgages are 4%. Even if houses stay flat someone who put down 20% will be losing 5% a year if one takes into account financing costs and inflation. Buying at bottom won’t make you rich unless homes can strart consitstanly rising annually in value more than mortgage financing amount and inflation.

  20. All Hype says:

    “The settlement affects only customers whose mortgages are owned and serviced by the five companies in the agreement. It’s an important distinction because the companies might have sold some mortgages to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, government-backed companies whose customers aren’t part of the agreement.”

    So those people who “suffered servicing abuse” by Phony and Fraudy are SOL. I wonder how many loans are actualy on the 5 banks books?

  21. Shadow of John says:

    “suffered servicing abuse”

    What many of these nancy boys suffered was self abuse.

  22. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Don’t make it hard for the Beaver Ward, he might hold it against you.

  23. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Actually, that’s a quote from a story my Dad told me. He was a 15 or 16 year old living in Kearny, NJ and had just gotten his first job loading dishes into the industrial sized dish washers at the Prudential
    cafeteria in Newark. He said one of the older ladies working in the kitchen sandwiched him against a wall with her body and whispered in his ear, “If I make it hard for you on your first day will you hold it against me?”

  24. yo says:

    I went to Wells Fargo site and filled up the form.I want to see what kind of help they will offer me.I am current,just want to see if I can qualify for a candy.

    https://www.wellsfargo.com/homeassist/

  25. JJ says:

    The primary beneficiaries of any principal reductions, loan modifications or refinancings are really a universe that excludes 92 percent of mortgage borrowers.

    Unless GMAC, BAC, Wells, Chase etc actually owns the loan and did not sell it to Fannie/Freddie as in 92% of loans the deal does not work for you.

  26. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Do you think the abuse “survivors” will have to sign a release of claims to get their $2K, or will it possibly be written in really small print on the back where you endorse the check?

  27. yo says:

    JJ,
    They own the mortgage.I get the bank statement from them and checked Fannie and Freddie.With all the free money coming,I dont want to miss the boat.

  28. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    Sold half my paper gold earlier this week. Damn good thing. Mote money for bullets.

  29. yo says:

    From what I read from WSJ,they don’t have to do anything.The check will be cut auto

    “Do you think the abuse “survivors” will have to sign a release of claims to get their $2K, or will it possibly be written in really small print on the back where you endorse the check?”

  30. yo says:

    The people that had the income,very good credit,that was checked thoroughly,they own those mortgage.

    JJ says:
    February 10, 2012 at 9:21 am
    The primary beneficiaries of any principal reductions, loan modifications or refinancings are really a universe that excludes 92 percent of mortgage borrowers.

    Unless GMAC, BAC, Wells, Chase etc actually owns the loan and did not sell it to Fannie/Freddie as in 92% of loans the deal does not work for you.

  31. joyce says:

    20

    housing has never historically appreciated faster than inflation & financing (minus the years associated with a bubble) and housing too illiquid to try to time anything

    housing has only appreciated with inflation, approximately

  32. gary says:

    So, to sum it up, those of us that pay bills and taxes and all that other nonsense systematically and on-time are now going to have to pay for some fat, stup1d f*ck who was duped by a bunch of bankster gangsters. Do I have it correctly? And the only recourse we have is to stay still and take the Abner Louima treatment?

  33. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    Got Drachmas?

  34. Painhrtz - I ain't dead yet says:

    Boy that money won’t end up in a slush fund for the politically connected.

    Sh!t sandwich!

  35. Confused in NJ says:

    33.gary says:
    February 10, 2012 at 9:37 am
    So, to sum it up, those of us that pay bills and taxes and all that other nonsense systematically and on-time are now going to have to pay for some fat, stup1d f*ck who was duped by a bunch of bankster gangsters. Do I have it correctly? And the only recourse we have is to stay still and take the Abner Louima treatment?

    Yes, because the “O” man has evolved to think that’s normal.

  36. Brian says:

    Who cares about this dumb settlement. I’ve always believed that if there ever is any kind of recovery it would be because hard working people worked their own way out of it.

    The one single factor that will affect markets again is that ordinary people will pull themselves up by the bootstraps. One of our greatest qualities as human beings is our ability to adapt to any situation. It’s this quality that we all need to tap in order to see any sort of recovery. Waiting for a hand out never helped anybody.

    Gotta be a maker not a taker.

  37. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    Consumer sentiment 72.5.

  38. 3B says:

    #99 JJ From what I understand most principal reductions will be about 20K How will that really help as far as taking ahughe loss, when there are people taking losses of 50 to 100k or more?

    Maybe they should just cut a check to every potential home buyer for 50K.

  39. Brian says:

    It probably won’t help people much. I’ll admit though, I’d love a slice of the pie. Who wouldn’t want free money? I probably took about a 100k loss in value. I’ve paid a lot of the principle, put 20 percent down when I bought too. 20k plus some of my savings might allow me to refinance and pay a few hundred bucks less on the mortgage.

    No pie for me though. I’ll continue to survive on generic hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. It’s a good thing I love them both. MMMMMMM

    39.3B says:
    February 10, 2012 at 9:56 am
    #99 JJ From what I understand most principal reductions will be about 20K How will that really help as far as taking ahughe loss, when there are people taking losses of 50 to 100k or more?

    Maybe they should just cut a check to every potential home buyer for 50K.

  40. Mike says:

    Arizona Governor Vs. Phoenix Suns

    Arizona governor vs. Phoenix Suns owner – I’d say she makes a pretty good case with her analogy!!

    The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver, came out strongly opposing AZ’s new immigration laws.

    Arizona’s Governor, Jan Brewer, released the following statement in response to Sarver’s criticism of the new law:

    “What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people were sneaking into games without paying? What if they had a good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn’t be ejected. Furthermore, what if Suns’ ownership was expected to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?”
    – Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer

  41. Shore Guy says:

    “Gotta be a maker not a taker.”

    How very 20th century of you.

  42. Dissident HEHEHE says:

    LAPD Pioneers High-Tech Crime-Fighting ‘War Room’

    http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/02/08/lapd-pioneers-high-tech-crime-fighting-war-room/

    NYC has one of these. Funny thing is every wall street bank has a cubicle inside the NYC one. I am not making that up either.

  43. Shore Guy says:

    Nom,

    Now that you are back, at least a bit, I think your Patriots played well. I am glad that the Giants beat them but, either team could have won that game.

  44. Dissident HEHEHE says:

    Wall Street’s Secret Spy Center, Run for the 1% by NYPD

    http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/02/06/wall-streets-secret-spy-center-run-for-the-1-by-nypd/

    It’s pretty funny.

  45. Mike says:

    Hey JJ check this out Lumpy became a successful bond broker http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20125154,00.html

  46. gary (18)-

    Jeff Chiesa is from Branchburg, the same hellhole that- in a complete hallucination- I thought would be a good location to open a RE office 13 years ago.

  47. No one will be spared. No one.

  48. JJ says:

    It will help. But not really. Case in point Nieghbor paid in spring 619K for a house next door to mine that is nearly idental that I got for 277K. I put down a big downpayment and after stripping out property taxes and insurance payment was 1k a month. A few years later I paid it off and have been mortgage free for a few years.

    Nieghbors house is not worth 450k. If bank turned around tommorrow and said we foregive your mortgage, you can live here for six months free and we will pay you 30K to get out on paper it sounds good.

    But I know he put 20% down. So 24 out door. I know he financed almost 500K at 6% for six years. Which is 36K times six or 216K and I think he put like 50K into house over six years. That puts him 216K plus 124 downpament plus 50K upkeep in house in hole or 390K. By letting him walk away bank is forgiving like 45K in balance and paying him 30K. Which is 75K. Nice of bank and govt to let him off on 75K but would have been better if he never bought home. Those homes only rent ofr $2,500 a month. Plus guy paid over 60K in property taxes alone.

    yo says:
    February 10, 2012 at 9:26 am
    JJ,
    They own the mortgage.I get the bank statement from them and checked Fannie and Freddie.With all the free money coming,I dont want to miss the boat.

  49. 3B says:

    340 Brian: back in the day late 80’s we purchased our first House at the peak of that bubble, just like many others. Few years later we wanted to sell, the loss would have been about 50k with the decline plus selling costs. Did not want to take the loss, stayed and paid it off, than sold a few years after that.Lots of people did the same it should be the same way this time. No special treatment

  50. JJ says:

    Solvent Green would be best way to deal with the deadbeats.

    3B says:
    February 10, 2012 at 11:00 am
    340 Brian: back in the day late 80′s we purchased our first House at the peak of that bubble, just like many others. Few years later we wanted to sell, the loss would have been about 50k with the decline plus selling costs. Did not want to take the loss, stayed and paid it off, than sold a few years after that.Lots of people did the same it should be the same way this time. No special treatment

  51. JJ says:

    Payton Manning can’t take solid dumps….
    ——————————————————————————–
    …Per Adam Schefter. He’s reportedly only dropping stew-like consistency, and the occasional soft-serve.

    So Jets are questioning why in physicals his dumps are stew-like. I don’t know a stiff neck leaky poop, me things he is Manning up with other Men

  52. JJ, Titan of WS, is making poo-poo jokes.

    Just another sign of the apocalypse. In other news of the apocalypse, Snooki now lives three blocks from my store.

  53. Mike says:

    52 & 53 Hope my neighor doesn’t call the cops on me for laughing my arse off to loud!

  54. Anon E. Moose says:

    The label is sticking:

    A ‘deadbeat’ bailout

    >It’s hard to imagine a less-deserving group of victims: people who gambled during the housing bubble by purchasing homes with borrowed money that they knew or should have known they couldn’t afford, but who are now able to stay in the homes they should have never bought because of what amounts to paperwork errors on the part of the nation’s big banks.

    But that’s essentially what went down yesterday, thanks to the Obama administration’s latest re-election gimmick — the nationwide mortgage-foreclosure settlement.<

  55. moose (55)-

    Good to see you’ve reverted back to lowlife bankster toady form.

    Last I checked, fraud and forgery are not “paperwork errors”.

    “…but who are now able to stay in the homes they should have never bought because of what amounts to paperwork errors on the part of the nation’s big banks.”

  56. And, if there were paperwork errors, you don’t correct those errors with whiteout, scissors, scanners and fake signatures.

  57. chicagofinance says:

    Will you let them film in there? Are you going to end up on TV?

    There Went Meat says:
    February 10, 2012 at 11:13 am
    JJ, Titan of WS, is making poo-poo jokes. Just another sign of the apocalypse. In other news of the apocalypse, Snooki now lives three blocks from my store.

  58. Fabius Maximus says:

    #52. JJ
    They are also saying that he is unable to throw to his left side.
    So if he can’t go both ways where does that leave him?

  59. 3B says:

    Apparently the Greek deal ain’t done yet, and I just don’t understand why either side is dancing around like this. Greece will inevitably default, it is the only way they even have a chance of turning their economy around. Buying time, kicking the can down the road. Greece has to default; just saying.

  60. gary says:

    thanks to the Obama administration’s latest re-election gimmick…

    And the m0rons will fall for it yet once again and relect him.

  61. Anon E. Moose says:

    Meat [56];

    The point is the deadbeats were beneficiaries, not victims, of the banks’ actions. And they’re getting paid off for the horror of living >3 yrs rent- and payment-free.

    Like I said yesterday, it woudn’t even be so bad if they’d just finally pack up and leave already, and let civilized and honorable people get on with their lives. The deadbeats will be back on the curb with their hands out before the settlement checks clear.

  62. joyce says:

    55 & 56

    Gamblers who lost, being rewarded…. hmm

    TARP / FED trillion $ bailoit (that’s on-going)… who benefits from that? is it the deadbeat home “owners”? or was it someone else?

    Two wrong do not make a right. All I want to see if the “deadbeats” foreclosed on within the lawful process (ergo without the use of perjury or forged documents) and the bankster criminals prosecuted.

    Dare to dream

  63. joyce says:

    62

    honorable, pff

  64. Juice says:

    “Snooki now lives three blocks from my store.”

    Hahahhahahahahahahhahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  65. Brian says:

    “In other news of the apocalypse, Snooki now lives three blocks from my store.”

    You should smush that.

  66. Sterling Grey Matters says:

    Don’t forget that Solvent Green is purple!

    JJ says:
    February 10, 2012 at 11:05 am
    Solvent Green would be best way to deal with the deadbeats.

  67. Fabius Maximus says:

    #60 3B

    Greece are holding out because they know that it will cost the ECB far more to kick them out than to bail them out. If they do get kicked out the outstanding debt will still have to paid in EUR as it woulld be a nightmare to try and retriangulate it back into the GRD. If the debt is left in Eur, GRD would likely be pegged to the EUR, so europe ends up as the biggest holder of GRD as they have to support the currency, which brings them back to square one.

  68. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Brian [40] And that is the most dangerous question of all. We’re getting dangerously close to a tipping point where a huge swath of society, the working poor, will quit their jobs to get in the free money line at the same time as the uber-rich get the hell out of Dodge leaving just us here as the last meal in town. We who think we’re getting by “OK” right now might find ourselves as the sheep in the “Democracy” where two wolves and a sheep vote on what’s for dinner.

    Who wouldn’t want free money?

  69. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [44] shore,

    ” I think your Patriots played well. I am glad that the Giants beat them but, either team could have won that game.”

    This one hurts far more than 2008. I really wish we lost to Baltimore.

  70. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [53] meat,

    ” In other news of the apocalypse, Snooki now lives three blocks from my store.”

    In that case, I want a discount.

  71. Shore Guy says:

    Everyone gets a pony?

    http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10372649-greek-anger-boils-over-as-country-faces-bankruptcy

    “Do not bow your heads! Resist!” they chanted. “No to layoffs! No to salary cuts! No to pension cuts!”

  72. 3B says:

    #68 fab: They have to default, and than drastically devalue their new Drachma ( I would assume that would be their new, old currency) Austerity won’t work, default walk away like Argentina did. They will never come out from under this. Of course if they default others may follow.

  73. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Nom [70] Losers don’t get to choose how they lose. They just lose.

    Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    This one hurts far more than 2008. I really wish we lost to Baltimore.

  74. Shore Guy says:

    “This one hurts far more than 2008”

    I know that down on the field, it is easier to lose by several scores than it is to lose a game in the last few seconds, especially if one has had the lead up until that point.

  75. The Original NJ Expat says:

    Shore [75] She’s from Zimbabwe. She thinks that amount is two trips to the grocery store.

    I guess a trillion dollars doesn’t go as far as it used to:

  76. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    That thump you just heard was another canary hitting the floor of the mine.

    http://www.infowars.com/cameron-fleeing-america-to-escape-collapse/

    There’s a word for people like Cameron: Hypocrite.

  77. Shore Guy says:

    Hey John,

    Are you coaching college students on writing cover letters ?

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/jmaureenhenderson/2012/02/09/the-worst-cover-letter-in-the-world-and-how-to-avoid-its-mistakes/

    1/23/2012

    J.P. Morgan

    Dear Sir or Madame:

    I am an ambitious undergraduate at NYU triple majoring in Mathematics, Economics, and Computer Science. I am a punctual, personable, and shrewd individual, yet I have a quality which I pride myself on more than any of these.

    I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself; I left Villanova because the work was too easy. Once I realized I could achieve a perfect GPA while holding a part-time job at NYU, I decided to redouble my effort by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.

    I say these things only because solid evidence is more convincing than unverifiable statements, and I want to demonstrate that I am a hard worker. J.P. Morgan is a firm with a reputation that precedes itself and employees who represent only the best and rightest in finance. I know that the employees in this firm will push me to excellence, especially within the Investment Banking division. In fact, one of the supporting reasons I chose Investment Banking over any other division was that I know it is difficult. I hope to augment my character by diligently working for the professionals at Morgan Stanley, and I feel I have much to offer in return.

    I am proficient in several programming languages, and I can pick up a new one very quickly. For instance, I learned a years worth of Java from NYU in 27 days on my own; this is how I placed out of two including: Money and Banking, Analysis, Game Theory, Probability and Statistics. Even further, I am taking Machine Learning and Probabilistic Graphical Modeling currently, two programming courses offered by Stanford, so that I may truly offer the most if I am accepted. I am proficient with Bloomberg terminals, excellent with excel, and can perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency. I have plenty of experience in the professional world through my internship at Merrill Lynch, and my research assistant position at NYU. In fact, my most recent employer has found me so useful that he promoted me to a Research Assistant and an official CTED intern. This role is usually reserved for Masters students, but my employer gave the title to me so that he could give me more work.

    Please realize that I am not a braggart or conceited, I just want to outline my usefulness. Egos can be a huge liability, and I try not to have one.

    Thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

    Best,

    Mark

  78. Shore Guy says:

    From above:

    “That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups…can perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency… [and then he mixes two firms’ names…oops]…J.P. Morgan is a firm with a reputation that precedes itself and… I hope to augment my character by diligently working for the professionals at Morgan Stanley….”

    Yup. Pretty terrifying.

  79. gary says:

    Shore [79],

    Further evidence of the rapid decline of an empire.

  80. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [78] redux,

    In the interest of fairness, Cameron is a canadian citizen (though he has a lot to say about our politics). And this move may not let him escape taxation insofar as NZ is not exactly a tax haven (though he could be getting production credits, tax holiday for PR, etc. I don’t know NZ taxes).

    But it is pretty clear that Cameron got himself a Nompound.

    Also, the links are not necessarily to hard data but other stories that interpret data. I don’t put much stock into such interpretations but prefer to review data for myself.

    I can tell you however that I had a client in Boston whose extended family (the patriarch founded a Fortune 500 company) had both a US and a NZ nompound. And that was 20 year ago.

    The 1% know what is coming. And don’t expect to see them manning the barricades, but heading off to Morristown or Teterboro, hopping into their Gulfstreams and getting the hell out of Dodge.

  81. Shore Guy says:

    I think we should invite “Mark” to lunch sometime.

  82. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [79] shore,

    I can see a few deans over in Radnor, PA and Washington Square rubbing their temples furiously right about now.

  83. moose (62)-

    Too bad that when bankster thugs Paulson and Bernank unleashed moral hazard, this became no country for the civilized and honorable.

    All about survival now. And, there are no longer any rules.

    “Like I said yesterday, it woudn’t even be so bad if they’d just finally pack up and leave already, and let civilized and honorable people get on with their lives.”

  84. civilized/honorable = dolt

  85. Brian (66)-

    You mean, like with a trash compactor?

    “You should smush that.”

  86. 3B says:

    #78 Com: Of all the most boring places to move to NZ would be it. But that being said, they do have the All Blacks.

  87. JJ says:

    Now we know why the Colts want to Dump Payton Manning, but it looks like this trade will Crap out as Jets cannot afford to Flush any more draft picks down the Toilet.

    But who knows maybe Payton may end up on same team as Crapsico Burr-Ass

  88. Painhrtz - I ain't dead yet says:

    How did they get a hold of JJ’s cover letter. Nevermind it doesn’t include the number of women he bedded, nor the time he scored 100 pts in ten minutes off the bench at Stony Brook.

  89. Feh. Investment bankers are a dime a dozen. These banks are looking for math geeks who can write their dirty little frontrunning, quotestuffing trading programs.

  90. Who cares how hard a guy works, if he thinks in algorithms and understands trading?

  91. JJ says:

    It is obviously not my resume as I had no academic acheivements. Actually only dumb thing I ever did there was I was in a car chase and lost the guy chasing me at 120 miles an hour on nicolas road. However, big block old buicks suck gas at that speed so I ran out of gas right after losing person. Now I am in trouble on side of road but I see a broken down BMW right in front of me! So I siphon gas to get my car going and grab rag from trunk when done to wipe up spilled gass everywhere as I sucked it out.

    I am good to go just then the dope with the BMW heads back towards his car with some tools. So I don’t have time to run back to car I go oh oh and the guy has a wrench. Luck would have it I had matches in my pocket and a gas soaked rag. Lit it up threw it under his car, ran for my car, guy of course stops to get rag out of car before chasing me but gives me time to get to my car to take off as all guy could do is throw wrench at my car that missed.

    So get home and Mom goes how was drive home from Stony Brook, and I go you know same ole.

    Painhrtz – I ain’t dead yet says:
    February 10, 2012 at 1:15 pm
    How did they get a hold of JJ’s cover letter. Nevermind it doesn’t include the number of women he bedded, nor the time he scored 100 pts in ten minutes off the bench at Stony Brook.

  92. Note to self: cross Stony Brook off Junior’s college list.

  93. Mike says:

    BALDY BEN B. Depressed housing prices are not a drag on the economy you are dooch bag. http://finance.yahoo.com/news/bernanke-urges-action-heal-housing-173623461.html

  94. Juice says:

    re #95 – “overly tight credit in mortgage markets”

    Hahahhaha, lets go back to NINJA loans!! heheheheh

  95. Bystander says:

    3b,

    Always wanted to go to NZ. Looks gorgeous even if locals are spawned from irish criminals. Don’t forget Flight of the Conchords too. Always good for a laugh.

    http://m.youtube.com/?dc=organic&source=mog&hl=en#/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

  96. 3B says:

    #95 low prices will stimulate the economy!!! Do I have to teach the bearded one everything!!!!!

  97. The Original NJ Expat says:

    [95] “In a typical recovery, a rebound in housing fuels hiring and income gains, but that has not been the case this time, the Fed chairman said.”

    That is completely backasswards, especially if there has been a RE decline. Whenever there is a RE decline housing always lags job and income growth. Idiot.

  98. Bystander says:

    Ex,

    I have come to conclusions about Senior Ben:

    1. He absolutely wanted the economic collapse. His massive ego instigated the denial of the bubble and now pervades his god complex. He had to kill Lazarus in order to prove he could bring him back from the dead. Sick twisted stuff. Now that Lazarus is not waking he wants everyone else to do a Weekend at Bernie’s and get him appearing to be alive.

  99. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [93] JJ,

    JJ thought he was mistaken once. But he was wrong.

  100. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [88] 3b,

    Yes, would be nice to see them crushed by the Wallabies.

  101. JJ says:

    Funny and I thought the actual sellers and buyers of real estate between 2003 and 2008 had something to do with the bubble.

  102. Anon E. Moose says:

    Bystander [97];

    Difference between Ozzies and Kiwis is that Kiwis are the descendants of the prisoners who could SWIM!

  103. Bystander says:

    JJ,

    Heard in 2003:
    “You will never see rates this low again”
    “Our parents had 13% rates in the 80s”
    “Borrow as much as you can now. Money is so cheap”
    Heard in 2007 by Ben:
    “There is no housing bubble to burst”

  104. JJ says:

    Who were you hanging out with in 2003. The bubble talk started around Spring 2002.

    You heard buffet, gold, bonds and housing are all stupid investments anyhow. stocks are only path towards wealth.

    Bystander says:
    February 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm
    JJ,

    Heard in 2003:
    “You will never see rates this low again”
    “Our parents had 13% rates in the 80s”
    “Borrow as much as you can now. Money is so cheap”
    Heard in 2007 by Ben:
    “There is no housing bubble to burst”

  105. Bocephus says:

    Cover letters are useless.

  106. Getting out of bed in the morning is useless.

  107. Punch My Ticket says:

    If you miss Leave it to Beaver, then NZ is definitely the place for you.

  108. Bystander says:

    JJ,

    Others that were 30 who were told that housing always goes up and rates will never be lower. People just followed Feds play. Sure, lots of sellers made out but many parlayed those winnings into more extravagant homes. Not you..but the people you know. Everything begins with Fed Policy and ends with misallocation based on their fraudulent decisions and judgements supporting the cartel.

  109. yo says:

    Jeremy Lin

  110. gary says:

    yo,

    38 points!! The dude rocks! :)

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