From the New Yorker:
In the New York real-estate market, where stratospheric prices continue to climb, a pact with Satan just doesn’t get you what it once did. Sure, when you forfeit your soul to the infernal dominion of Lucifer, you might end up with limitless knowledge and sensual pleasure—but don’t expect a Tribeca loft as part of the bargain! Here’s what you can get in all five boroughs in exchange for the everlasting damnation of your very spirit.
Manhattan – You’ve always wanted to live in New York, New York, and, now that you’ve inked a contract with a demon, you finally have the means. So, what sort of place can the Devil offer you? Turns out, nothing good. Ten years ago, the market for mortgaged souls was strong, and the archfiend was well capitalized, but now all the subprime lending he did for what was left of everyone’s integrity has left him cash poor. Plus, the toxic deals he made with certain New York real-estate families have significantly downgraded his credit. Nevertheless, it’s not totally hopeless. (Well, in terms of your soul’s eternal rest, it is absolutely hopeless, but, re: your mortal living situation, there are slivers of hope here and there.) With an underworld guarantor, you can rent a completely livable studio in the Financial District or on the Upper East Side.
Brooklyn- Brooklyn is a big borough with diverse real-estate offerings, many of which are way outside your Hell-derived resources. Even with Satan’s institutional backing, don’t expect to get much in brownstone Brooklyn. If you find a place in Cobble Hill that’s underpriced because it houses a known plague omen, you’ll still need your parents to chip in on the down payment. However, if, deeper in Brooklyn, you’re willing to price out some veteran locals who haven’t leveraged their mortal souls for decent apartments—in, say, Brownsville, or Bensonhurst—your Hell-cash will go further. The commute to Manhattan will be a bitch, but note that Satan has recently been allowing more and more people to do his bidding remotely.
Staten Island – The New Jersey of New York City is cheaper than the other boroughs, so if you cash in your Faustian bargain there, you can move into a pretty nice one-bedroom. But do take note that if you buy or rent in Staten Island you will be required to live in Staten Island. Of course, eventually you’ll reside in actual Hell, so living in the only borough with a majority of voters who chose Donald Trump might not be a bad transitional phase.