Jersey Shore Triptych

From Fox Philly:

Summer Shore Rentals On The Rise

As Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial start of the summer season, approaches, most people have their eyes on a Jersey Shore vacation, and some are saying vacation rentals are on the rise.

In Ocean City, N.J., rentals are already up from last summer. Real estate specialists on the shore say that it might actually be difficult to find an available rental property this late in the season if you haven’t already started looking.

From the Record:

Shore tourism outlook is bright

The summer forecast is bright for Shore travel, which accounts for about two-thirds of the state’s $39 billion tourism industry.

An improving economy, along with vacationers’ desire to stay close to home in the face of high gasoline prices, will boost Shore visits this summer, according to a recent “shorecast” panel at Richard Stockton College in Atlantic County.

Tourism officials are already seeing signs of growth.

“Parking revenues, rentals, hotel accommodations and beach tag sales — all strong indicators of what kind of season we expect to have — are way ahead of last year’s pace,” Michele Gillian, executive director of the Ocean City Chamber of Commerce, said at the panel discussion. And last year was pretty strong, thanks to hot, dry weather.

In interviews, tourism officials said that website visits and requests for travel brochures are up significantly over last year. Diane Wieland, director of the Cape May County Department of Tourism, has seen an increase in vacation home rentals and hotel reservations in the southern Shore towns.

While the Shore draws most heavily from New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania, tourism departments have increased their marketing in Quebec. The Canadian dollar is worth slightly more than the American dollar, making U.S. vacations more affordable for Canadians.

“There are an estimated half-million Canadians who travel to New Jersey each year,” Wieland said.

Lori Pepenella, a marketing executive at the Southern Ocean County Chamber of Commerce, said that weekend and day visits to Long Beach Island are already running ahead of last year.

But economic stresses continue to force visitors to economize where they can. Tourism officials say visitors are choosing shorter stays — day trips or weekend getaways — and asking about lodging that includes kitchenettes, so they can avoid spending on restaurant meals. That trend has been in place since the recession began in late 2007.

From the Philly Inquirer:

Taking the backroads to the Shore

Heading to the Shore over an expressway isn’t for everyone. Some folks prefer the backroads.

But for the experienced trekker, writing down the names of the roads can be tricky. Notes can include phrases such as “past the car dealerships,” “that farm stand with the peaches,” “that graveyard” and “666.”

Jersey Shore backroads can be hard to pin down. Except for adventurous drivers wandering off the Atlantic City Expressway or Garden State Parkway’s standard routes with a map or GPS in hand, most Shore routes were handed down by parents and grandparents. They started their summer vacations before the Atlantic City Expressway opened in 1964, and ahead of the Garden State Parkway’s completion in 1957.

“I grew up with parents trying to figure out the back way to avoid part of the Garden State Parkway by going through, parallel, and over it,” says Kathryn Quigley, 44. Her family drove from Northeast Philadelphia to Stone Harbor along a route that included “the TAC” (i.e. the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge), a “restaurant with a triangle-shaped roof, and the bathrooms were out back.”

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141 Responses to Jersey Shore Triptych

  1. grim says:

    From the NY Times:

    As Lenders Hold Homes in Foreclosure, Sales Are Hurt

    The nation’s biggest banks and mortgage lenders have steadily amassed real estate empires, acquiring a glut of foreclosed homes that threatens to deepen the housing slump and create a further drag on the economic recovery.

    All told, they own more than 872,000 homes as a result of the groundswell in foreclosures, almost twice as many as when the financial crisis began in 2007, according to RealtyTrac, a real estate data provider. In addition, they are in the process of foreclosing on an additional one million homes and are poised to take possession of several million more in the years ahead.

    Five years after the housing market started teetering, economists now worry that the rise in lender-owned homes could create another vicious circle, in which the growing inventory of distressed property further depresses home values and leads to even more distressed sales. With the spring home-selling season under way, real estate prices have been declining across the country in recent months.

    “It remains a heavy weight on the banking system,” said Mark Zandi, the chief economist of Moody’s Analytics. “Housing prices are falling, and they are going to fall some more.”

    Over all, economists project that it would take about three years for lenders to sell their backlog of foreclosed homes. As a result, home values nationally could fall 5 percent by the end of 2011, according to Moody’s, and rise only modestly over the following year. Regions that were hardest hit by the housing collapse and recession could take even longer to recover — dealing yet another blow to a still-struggling economy.

  2. Mike says:

    Good Morning New Jersey

  3. grim says:

    From the Daily Record:

    PUMPED UP PRICES FUELING HARDSHIP

    High gasoline prices mean the majority of New Jersey drivers aren’t going full speed ahead with their normal driving habits, according to a new Monmouth University/New Jersey Press Media poll.

    Sixty-one percent of those polled report cutting back time on the road. Four in 10 New Jersey residents said fuel prices of close to $4-a-gallon are causing them a lot of financial hardship and 29 percent said they’re experiencing a little hardship.

    The numbers are similar to those in a poll three summers ago, when gasoline topped $4 a gallon, said Patrick Murray, director of the Monmouth University Polling Institute, West Long Branch.

    As expected, Murray said, rising gasoline prices are more likely to hurt low- and middle-income families.

  4. serenity now says:

    Re#3 Sixty-one percent of those polled report cutting back time on the road……
    If it keeps the nit- wits home who would get in the car just to get a bag of gummy
    bears then maybe the roads will be less crowded – a good thing.

  5. grim says:

    From the Philly Inquirer:

    Housing outlook is mired in a swamp of foreclosures

    If you were hoping to sell your house for top dollar in the next few months, you’d better wait.

    Until 2014, or maybe later.

    That’s when 54 percent of Americans responding to a semiannual survey by two real estate search engines believe the housing market will recover from its now four-year-old malaise.

  6. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    No one will be spared.

    No one.

  7. freedy says:

    drove thru Bergenfield . seems to me they have empty homes plenty.

    Has this town gone over the side?

  8. Lone Ranger says:

    Thank the Lord for Loonies.

  9. AG says:

    Quite a weekend for stripers. Brought home a 30+ pound female for dinner caught off mantoloking. Saw a hunpback whale up close too. That thing was gobbling up bunker by the hundreds. Think it was targeting the fish eggs or brine shrimp but there was a river of bunker in between.

  10. gary says:

    AG [9],

    You do realize that tweeking a few words in your statement turns your story into a JJ story. :)

  11. Dissident HEHEHE says:

    This summer is going to be a sh*t-storm through which TPTB are going to have a near impossible time keeping this mirage continuing.

  12. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Better to spend your summer vacation in a food riot or queued up in a bank run.

    Greece is circling the drain. Portugal and Ireland will follow, then Spain and Italy will go kaput. Germany will be the bagholder.

  13. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Bet Northcom is getting a little antsy as hot weather approaches.

    However, a few more giant tornadoes hit, and there won’t be anything left to burn down.

  14. AG says:

    One has to wonder how long they can keep this charade up with the euro and dollar before something breaks.

  15. 3b says:

    #7 You can buy soem house there now at late 1980’s prices.

  16. TB72 says:

    “Quite a weekend for stripers. Brought home a 30+ pound female for dinner caught off mantoloking.”

    My eyes were a little off, I thought it read Quite a weekend for strippers. Brought home a 300+ pound female for dinner.

  17. GuestQuestion says:

    Advice? Buying a short in Bergen Cnty but can’t close due to the owner having a tenant in the home. The non-mortgage paying owner has a rent paying tenant. We were assured for months by the seller’s agent & attorney the house will be vacant on May 1 (as they gave notice 60+ day prior, they said). The owner is dragging their feet on eviction proceedings as they did not commence on the first business day in May or even to date. The owner signed all the agreements of sale, the mortgage holding bank has approved the deal, I, the buyer, am ready to go. I’ve learned the owner is collecting rent, his incentive to not evict. My attorney is patiently observing the situation. It appears the owner is operating in bad faith and risking the bank may not giving them an additional extension on the sale approval, the time the owner needs to evict (if they ever truly intend to) and I learned the owner and agent have a close professional relationship in matters separate and away from this transaction. I have reason to believe the selling real estate agency knew ahead of time the ethical shortcomings of their client the owner (I learned a previous purchase failed due to the same circumstances 6 months earlier). Advice? I’d be happy to part company and move on, however I feel the at least $2K I have in attorney fees was a waste entirely (not to mention 6 months of waiting), due to bad faith of the owner and would like to recover that from the seller’s agency (who I feel aides the owner in operating in bad faith). Advice and comments? I can swallow a lesson learned, but it annoys me, the bad faith from the seller’s side. Thanks in advance.

  18. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    guest (19)-

    You should close title and evict the tenant yourself.

    BTW, have you seen the lease between the tenant and the current owner? Has that lease hit its expiration date?

  19. chicagofinance says:

    Guest: talk to the tenant…give them $3,000 or some figure to walk…..

  20. JJ says:

    Three easy steps.

    1) Buy the mortgage paper
    2) Buy fire insurance
    3) Burn house down.

    GuestQuestion says:
    May 23, 2011 at 8:59 am

    Advice? Buying a short in Bergen Cnty but can’t close due to the owner having a tenant in the home. The non-mortgage paying owner has a rent paying tenant. We were assured for months by the seller’s agent & attorney the house will be vacant on May 1 (as they gave notice 60+ day prior, they said). The owner is dragging their feet on eviction proceedings as they did not commence on the first business day in May or even to date. The owner signed all the agreements of sale, the mortgage holding bank has approved the deal, I, the buyer, am ready to go. I’ve learned the owner is collecting rent, his incentive to not evict. My attorney is patiently observing the situation. It appears the owner is operating in bad faith and risking the bank may not giving them an additional extension on the sale approval, the time the owner needs to evict (if they ever truly intend to) and I learned the owner and agent have a close professional relationship in matters separate and away from this transaction. I have reason to believe the selling real estate agency knew ahead of time the ethical shortcomings of their client the owner (I learned a previous purchase failed due to the same circumstances 6 months earlier). Advice? I’d be happy to part company and move on, however I feel the at least $2K I have in attorney fees was a waste entirely (not to mention 6 months of waiting), due to bad faith of the owner and would like to recover that from the seller’s agency (who I feel aides the owner in operating in bad faith). Advice and comments? I can swallow a lesson learned, but it annoys me, the bad faith from the seller’s side. Thanks in advance.

  21. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    chi (21)-

    Good idea. I bet there’s a way that the tenant could be persuaded to take cash-for-keys and have it charged to the bank on the closing statement.

  22. GuestQuestion says:

    Appreciate the feed back. In the presale we were told by the owner, their agent and attorney it was a month to month tenant and had no reason to suspect bad faith at that juncture. Also, the bank in the sales agreement requires the owner to deliver a vacant property. We cannot assume the burden of eviction, we cannot creatively resolve the problem. With the current agreement, we cannot close with a tenant in place, that’s the banks requirement.

    When I went down the buying a short sale road, I was prepared for I thought everything, however I never imagined the owner getting the bail out, after signing all the agreements, would be the party screwing up the deal. Buying a short comes with a lot of anxiety for sure. What do you learn? Behind many shorts is an owner that might have all sorts of issues and agendas to torpedo the deal ‘in the bottom of the 9th inning’. Shorts seem to come from divorces, job losses, and owners are bitter, angry, and operate without in regard to ethics. Some are clean I know, but a lot are grimy with grimy people.

  23. Mikeinwaiting says:

    More green shoots. http://www.chicagofed.org/webpages/publications/cfnai/index.cfm
    Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago
    312-322-2387
    Led by declines in production-related indicators, the Chicago Fed National Activity
    Index fell to –0.45 in April from +0.32 in March. April marked the lowest reading
    of the index since August 2010. Three of the four broad categories of indicators
    that make up the index deteriorated from March, but two of those three categories
    made positive contributions to the index in April.
    The index’s three-month moving average, CFNAI-MA3, declined to –0.12 in April from +0.08.

  24. grim says:

    Do not close and attempt to evict unless this is a screaming deal with tens of thousands of dollars in equity.

    The courts are not on your side when it comes to tenant evictions in NJ, you can look forward to months in courts.

    Read up on sunk cost fallacy for how you need to look at the 2k already invested.

  25. grim says:

    Tell the agents to chip in $1k a piece out of their commissions towards a cash for keys. Let them know you’ll walk otherwise.

  26. The Original NJ Expat says:

    #19 Guest – The current “owner” seems to have no incentive to see this deal through. Cash flow ceases and negative tax consequences from the completed short sale take effect. It would seem to me, given the situation, that this property will end up FC, not short.

  27. 30 Year Realtor says:

    Guest, can you prove that another deal went bad for the same reason? Can you prove the listing agent knew about the other deal? If you can prove both you may have a legitimate grievance the NJ Real Estate Commission (NJREC).

    Bad faith allegations don’t make a great court case against the owner because he is likely broke.

    Of all the suggestions, Grim’s advice about asking the agents to work out a cash for keys arrangement with the tenant strikes me as the best. A NJ tenancy case against a paying tenant is problematic. You have the right to evict so you can occupy, but sending the proper notices and getting a court date will take more than 100 days. Then the judge has discretion to give the tenant up to 6 months to vacate, if they continue to pay their rent on time. This does not include an order to show cause based on the tenant having difficulty finding a new home.

  28. Shore Guy says:

    The reports of people being financially stressed by $4 gas are either laughable or a sign of how bad things for most folks. If one drives 20,000 miles per year and only get 20 mpg, the difference in cost between $3 gas and $4 gas is all of $80-some dollars a month — call it $30 a week in pre-tax income.

  29. Juice Box says:

    Contact the month to month tenant to stop paying too.

    If that does not work nothing will.

  30. 3b says:

    #27 You forgot 26& in your handle. Please be more careful when posting in the future.

  31. Jake says:

    How big of hit has the market in Jersey shore taken a hit from the TV show? Or has interest increased?

  32. chicagofinance says:

    To all: Does the cash for keys need to be documented? Is there anything illegal, or frankly unethical, about speaking with the tenant and handing him/her a wad of bills to leave? No contract is broken and no duty has been compromised.

    GuestQuestion says:
    May 23, 2011 at 9:29 am
    Appreciate the feed back. In the presale we were told by the owner, their agent and attorney it was a month to month tenant and had no reason to suspect bad faith at that juncture. Also, the bank in the sales agreement requires the owner to deliver a vacant property. We cannot assume the burden of eviction, we cannot creatively resolve the problem. With the current agreement, we cannot close with a tenant in place, that’s the banks requirement.

  33. Shore Guy says:

    To get around the tenent not having a place to go, can the new buyer obtain a one-month rental for the person he or she wants out? That way there is no argument that the person will end up on the street.

  34. Nicholas says:

    Shore Guy,

    I think that you might be a bit off on the importance of 4$ a gallon gas. It isn’t just the travel cost for going back and forth to work, store, etc. It is the cost of consumer goods rising in response to oil as an input. The cost to produce almost every consumer item imaginable is tied to energy prices.

    lets say someone makes 15$ an hour, a respectable wage for around 60% of the population. With another 30$ per week going to gasoline to fuel the vehicle that means that an additional 2 hours of work will be consumed. Thats 5% of someones income that goes out the window. If you throw in a 2-3% increase in food prices then you really start to have a problem.

    Again, I think that you are seriously underestimating the impact of 4$ a gallon prices for fuel. It may not be a big deal for you or me but there has been a distinct change in my family. They are focusing on “family time” rather then travel. Back yard parties are now becomming more common place rather than travel somewhere.

  35. JJ says:

    Back in the day I went to bid on a REO type property which was a two family house in queens, both tenants were on a rent strike. Bank tried to get them out but they were extremely dangerous type people and NYC police at time had no interest in evicting dangerous tenants so bank can sell house for an extra 20k.

    So I go to lady, no problem I will buy I will just round up ten buddies to evict them. After she finished laughing her butt off. She goes the place is deadbolted, they have pitt bulls and guns. Good luck!! I then go forget about it. Finally, I ask who buys these things. She said well in a week or two she was going to sell it to a soldier from the Gambino crime family. It seems the hit men, mob enforcers have a side speciality in flipping houses. They love tenants that wont get out.

  36. Juice Box says:

    One tenants get wind you are selling they sometimes want cash to vacate. I know someone who extracted 40k from a property owner for them to vacate before the closing. Not really fair to the property owner but when you live in the Socialist Republic of New Jersey the law and time is on the tenants side.

  37. grim says:

    It is arguable that the rise in property taxes in NJ over the past 10 years has had a significantly higher impact than $4 gas.

  38. Nicholas says:

    chicagofinance,

    I think that they were implying that they talk with the renter about taking a cash-for-keys deal when the house closes. I don’t think that it would be anything illegal for paying someone elses tenant to leave. Its your money and you can do with it what you want.

    An apartment complex will give you 1 months rent free if you move in. Is that illegal under NJ law? In essence that is giving $$ to entice a tenant to leave their current landlord for your place. I don’t see anything illegal or unethical in that situation and this one is very similar. In the event that the renter has to break a contract with the current landlord then I would make sure that everything is up-and-up there but otherwise the renter is free to do as they please under a mont-to-month contract.

  39. grim says:

    I think that they were implying that they talk with the renter about taking a cash-for-keys deal when the house closes

    The tenant needs to sign a contract to leave, payable after closing, with the necessary provisions that they have vacated prior to closing (verified via walk-thru the morning of closing). They get the cash on closing, not before, and only if they are gone.

    That said, the buyer will probably be putting in additional money for legal fees and any other associated expenses to get the property to the closing stage. This approach is not without financial risk. What do you do when the tenants are still in the property the day of closing?

  40. Nicholas says:

    Grim,

    I don’t have the pleasure of enjoying NJ property taxes but I don’t think that comparing property tax increases to gasoline price makes sense. Does the effect of gas price hikes have to be more substantial than RE taxes for gas prices to be important? I will give a stab at it with this statement:

    Given that property taxes have increased over the years draining the available household surplus income the gas price increases are a double whammy for NJ residences since they already started with less surplus income then the rest of the country. Due to higher taxes AND gas prices NJ families are hurting.

  41. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Yep. This tenant thing is a real hornet’s nest.

  42. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Them’s the chances you take buying a short sale. That’s why you should have a hefty discount to market baked into the price. In the end, that’s the premium you’ve earned for assuming the risk that it can’t close.

  43. Nicholas says:

    If their stuff is still there on the closing date then on closing date +1 their stuff is moved to the curb in an uncerimonious heap. You pay for the movers with the money you would have given the tenant. When the items are removed from the street corner then you pay the tenant the rest of the agreed price.

    It is pretty much that simple, they agreed to move and accepted money to do so and when they didn’t you enforced your rights under the contract. Just make sure the contract stipulates what occurs if they fail to do what is right and necessary.

  44. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [35] jj

    ” It seems the hit men, mob enforcers have a side speciality in flipping houses. They love tenants that wont get out.”

    Better to work with off-duty cops; I recall an article years ago (pre-internet) about off-duty cops that formed posses; these were hired by landlords to bust in and threaten unwanted tenants into leaving. And if the cops showed up, they didn’t stay long or see anything. Tenants, often illegals, got the message and cleared out fast and quiet-like.

  45. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    You know something is becoming a trend when it makes the cover of the BNA Daily Tax Report.

    http://www.woodporter.com/Publications/Articles/pdf/Expatriating.pdf

  46. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    plume (44)-

    Oklahoma Eviction = two dudes with baseball bats enter the residence, and start pitching stuff and people out the door. Very effective.

  47. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    And as usual, Bob Bauman can be counted on to put it succintly:

    http://gramercyimages.com/blog1/2011/03/18/the-escape-from-america-continues/

  48. Punch My Ticket says:

    Nom [45],

    A comprehensive guide except for one omission. In my opinion, that omission is the most likely to bite an expatriating citizen: the immediate inclusion in income of all balances in retirement accounts as of the expatriation date (or alternatively the seizure of 30% by the financial institution for remittance to the IRS).

  49. chicagofinance says:

    This just in…the French are pigs…..

  50. Nicholas says:

    I own rental property in Ohio and they have some pretty tough laws on evicting renters. Every eviction has to be judicial so a judge has to order that you have the right to evict and give the renter time to present their case and mediate between the parties. It doesn’t make for quick evictions and can be very problematic if the renter isn’t paying rent.

    Here is a copy of the email that I sent them when they became 31 days late on the rent payments. This was pretty much when I figured out that I had what it took to be a landlord. If this isn’t the type of correspondence that you think you could send out and follow through on then get a property manager.

    I have not received any of the rent for January and you are currently 31 days late. I must inform you that as of the 15th of January you were in breach of the renters agreement that you signed.

    Although I have had correspondence regarding your intent, good intentions cannot be a subsitute for payment. I am writing this to inform you of the actions that will roll out if rent is not paid promptly.

    1. On February 15th I will be posting a 3-day Eviction Notice on the property indicating my intent to evict.
    2. On February 21st I will be scheduling a hearing in xxxxx County asking for the right to force vactation of the property.
    3. The court should schedule an appearance within 1-2 weeks

    You would still be responsible for past due rent, including late fees.

    As much as I like you and your family, I cannot continue to rent the home at a loss. As you can see, even if I wait until the 15th to post the 3 day notice it puts me into March before I can evict and an estimated 2-4 weeks before the house is in sale/rental condition again.

    This is a huge unknown for me and I must act to protect my own interest and investment.

    The remedy is to pay January’s rent in full and to pay some or all of February’s rent BEFORE February 15th. If I drive out to Ohio on the 15th I will post the notice and follow through with the eviction.

    I have the best of hopes that you can see this situation from my perspective. I wish you the best of luck becomming current on your rental payments. Please feel free to respond to this email or call me in person.

  51. NJ Toast says:

    Guest,

    Move on. Even if you can prove wrongdoing, etc. So what. Take these people to court and win, and then what? If they don’t pay, do you really want to spend more time and $$ on the matter. In a few months, housing prices will be lower than they are now. By walking from your $2,000 today, you would re-coup down the road and you got a lot more than $2k in knowledge from the experience. $3 in capital + $5 in aggravation is not worth the $2 in cash it will yield.

  52. daddyo says:

    chi – how was the Memphis Taproom?

    I was going to stop there to catch a Pliny the Elder a few weeks ago, but everyone from our Philly office recommended against it, mentioning the neighborhood was a scary place.

  53. JJ says:

    Also lets say you win do you really win? You are the guy who threw them out on the street. Lets hope they have no way of knowing your name. Someone with an ax to grind in an hour or two can make your life a living hell.

    Know one girl, she was so mad at the ADA of NY once that she came over his apt, rang the bell, he opened she jumped him started kicking and scratching him and of course he is fighting her off, just then cops showed up. She dialed 911 and reported she was being raped moments before she rang bell. Even better she did it Friday evening after courts were closed, he spend weekend in Rikers and come Monday morning when he was set to be charged, a few minutes earlier she dropped charges as she was satisfied he got to spend weekend in Jail.

    So my buddy who is friends with ADA said does she plan to press charges, he goes no way. She did not perjury herself, filing a false police report is my word vs. hers and a minor crime at best. Plus she is happy now. If this is what she does to people she is mad at I hate to see what she does to people she is really mad at. He let it go and moved on. Some people need revenge to move on. Kicking a tenant out on street, who knows maybe wife just left him, maybe kid is sick. You might just be the one to rock his boat.

    #
    #
    NJ Toast says:
    May 23, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Guest,

    Move on. Even if you can prove wrongdoing, etc. So what. Take these people to court and win, and then what? If they don’t pay, do you really want to spend more time and $$ on the matter. In a few months, housing prices will be lower than they are now. By walking from your $2,000 today, you would re-coup down the road and you got a lot more than $2k in knowledge from the experience. $3 in capital + $5 in aggravation is not worth the $2 in cash it will yield.

  54. chicagofinance says:

    The end is nigh (Futbol Edition):

    BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — Diego Maradona says Argentina players took banned drugs before a qualifying match for the 1994 World Cup.

    He accuses FIFA vice president Julio Grondona, the head of Argentina’s Football Association, of being in on the scheme.

    Maradona says there were no drug controls for the 1993 qualifier against Australia in Buenos Aires. He claims the team doctor put a banned stimulant in their coffee.

    Argentina won 1-0 and advanced to the tournament in the United States, where Maradona was later expelled for a positive drug test and the team lost in the quarterfinals.

    Maradona said Monday on television that Grondona had to know all about it. Grondona had no immediate comment.

  55. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Yet another latent talent of jj’s: advice columnist.

  56. rather not say says:

    #50 so what happened? What was the outcome??

  57. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    chi (54)-

    Maradona has taken every banned drug known to man. He is the Keith Richards of soccer.

    IMO, he is still the best player ever…although I think if Messi can get Argentina to a World Cup win, I’d change my mind.

  58. chicagofinance says:

    daddyo says:
    May 23, 2011 at 12:08 pm
    chi – how was the Memphis Taproom? I was going to stop there to catch a Pliny the Elder a few weeks ago, but everyone from our Philly office recommended against it, mentioning the neighborhood was a scary place.

    d: I am going to try to go on Friday. We are going to Bryn Mawr and will cut through there on the way back to NJ. Scary? WTF? Maybe I have a thick skin? It’s not 1993 anymore….I am sure that Center City was scarier in 1993 than Port Richmond is now……

  59. chicagofinance says:

    Stu: gotta take your veggie-lady to the MTR!

  60. Nicholas says:

    #56 rather not say,

    The result was that they paid but the friendly relationship that I had with my renter was damaged. They have continued to pay, on time, since I brought the heavy. There is no question now where the boundary is or what the consequences will be.

    My guess was that like many Americans they are testing and re-evaluating housing vs. phone, TV, internet, and credit cards. Previously most people would stop paying the latter first before they stopped paying for housing. Recently that priority has shifted such that housing is one of the first things that stops getting paid. I just reshifted thier priorities back on housing.

  61. Nicholas says:

    JJ,

    Filing a false police report in almost all states is a felony in and of itself with consequences varying based upon the severity of the false statement. If you claim someone raped you and it was a false statement that person then has the ability to sue you for defamation of character. If that were me I would use the legal system to get my just revenge on that woman.

    http://criminal-law.freeadvice.com/arrests_and_searches/filing-false-police-report.htm

    “Beyond the possible criminal charges, there can also be civil consequences to filing a false police report. If you filed a false complaint on another person which resulted in their being arrested and/or losing their jobs, you can be held financially liable for defamation. Your insurance company may also file a civil claim against you to recover its damages for paying on a false claim resulting from you falsely claiming your car was stolen. People or companies who are harmed by your false report are not limited to a certain type of remedy. This means you may find yourself defending a civil and a criminal suit at the same time. “

  62. Libtard in the City says:

    MTR – Memphis Tap Room?

    I’ll look it up.

  63. Libtard in the City says:

    I just checked out the menu ChiFi and I think you’re on to something.

  64. chicagofinance says:

    Stu: Drive there using the Civic….clean out all the crap from the car before you park it on the street…..

  65. chicagofinance says:

    Look at the video I posted as Kimball makes this…
    SMOKED COCONUT CLUB . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8
    Grilled lemon garlic tofu, smoked coconut, tomato herb mayo

  66. Libtard in the City says:

    Yeah…Maybe I’ll take gator and then we’ll follow it up with a trip to AC on a decent promotion.

  67. JJ says:

    Desperate people drag you down, in the internet age defending yourself makes it a known event by the time your name is cleared no one cares. In the ADA case what he did to piss off that girl would be public knowledge if he defended himself.

    Funniest was my friend who won a civil suit vs old GF for stuff she took for $1,200, of course that does not get him a nickle back. So he consulted his lawyer who advised him to break $1,200 worth of her stuff. So he pulls up to her house, honks the horn, when she looks out window he takes out gold club and breaks her car windows and drives off. Goes to court he gets a judgement against hm to replace window, judges goes since girl owes him $1,200 we can call it even. boy was ex-gf mad. Revenge makes no sense, and this guy was a CPA who worked on wall st. but no one gets over on him, did not want to lose brooklyn street cred. I basically, thought he was nuts. But crazy as it sounds there is a lawyer in Brooklyn supposedly who consults pre-crime to work it out so you get away or if caught least penalty. It actually makes sense.

    Nicholas says:
    May 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    JJ,

    Filing a false police report in almost all states is a felony in and of itself with consequences varying based upon the severity of the false statement. If you claim someone raped you and it was a false statement that person then has the ability to sue you for defamation of character. If that were me I would use the legal system to get my just revenge on that woman.

    http://criminal-law.freeadvice.com/arrests_and_searches/filing-false-police-report.htm

    “Beyond the possible criminal charges, there can also be civil consequences to filing a false police report. If you filed a false complaint on another person which resulted in their being arrested and/or losing their jobs, you can be held financially liable for defamation. Your insurance company may also file a civil claim against you to recover its damages for paying on a false claim resulting from you falsely claiming your car was stolen. People or companies who are harmed by your false report are not limited to a certain type of remedy. This means you may find yourself defending a civil and a criminal suit at the same time. “

  68. I’ve found over the years that my best defense against all kinds of bad stuff people might do is to convince them that I’m batshit crazy.

    Which is easy, since I am.

  69. daddyo says:

    MTR is actually in Kensington, bad neighborhood. One of the guys who said stay away is a former NFL player that stands about 6’6″ / 250, and is not scared of anything. All kinds of warnings about not parking around the corner or anything like that. Park right in front or not at all.

    Who knows, I didn’t know Kensington was bad either, but apparently it’s a mess.

  70. Want mayonnaise on those fries?

    “Two weeks ago we speculated that S&P would downgrade Belgium next as the peripheral fire makes inroads to the core. Turns out Fitch is taking charge on this one. Expect S&P to follow shortly. From the just released Fitch statement which revises Belgium’s outlook to negative: “In Fitch’s view, without political agreement over constitutional reform, it will be difficult to achieve a balanced budget at general government level as laid out in Belgium’s Stability Programme. This would require budgetary surplus at lower levels of government and/or significant social security reform, either of which would likely become entangled in Belgium’s linguistic-community dispute. Sustained debt reduction will require fiscal reform as well as fiscal discipline over the coming years, which in turn requires a new government with a fresh mandate.” EUR for now pretending it doesn’t care. ”

    http://www.zerohedge.com/article/fitch-revises-belgium-outlook-negative

  71. Nicholas says:

    JJ,

    Apparently your friend is trival enough to sue over 1200$. When he wasn’t able to get his 1200$ then he smashed his GFs car window. You should really reconsider who you consider your friends as this is the most trival/petty thing I have heard of in a long time.

    I understand that desperate people do desperate things and that will never change but I have found that the best solution to problems like these are cutting losses and walking away. There is just so little up-side to smashing your ex-GFs window and any up-side is just temporary.

  72. 3b says:

    #71 Split the country in 2, and be done with it already. The Flemish hate the Walloons, and vice/versa.

  73. Nicholas, I used to think the same thing. Unfortunately, too many people in today’s world mistake discretion or simple kindness as weakness. I cannot tell you how many agents of mine over the years attempted to screw me once they saw me cut someone a break or let an agent go simply as a stop-loss move.

    You have to go nuclear on people who do something bad to you…inadvertent or not. If for no other reason, it has to be done simply to warn other folks of the consequences of trying to cross you.

    jj was right. Gotta keep the street cred jacked.

  74. 3b (73)-

    A Belgian civil war would be much more entertaining.

    And we could root for both sides to lose.

  75. Lone Ranger says:

    Hobo [71],

    Subprime is contained, US banks are healthy, Greece is an isolated situation, etc, etc..

    When a carnival barker (Fed, US Treas, ECB) opens his/her mouth just buy more gold. What came of the $1 Trillion ECB rescue package? All paper will be trashed, gold will go to the moon. It will make dot.com, RE bubble appear to be an opening act.

    “European Central Bank officials dismissed speculation that Greece’s budget crisis will spill over to other countries in the euro region.”

    “There is no economic cause for a contagion discussion,” ECB Governing Council member Ewald Nowotny said in an interview in Washington.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-04-25/greece-woes-won-t-spark-debt-crisis-in-spain-portugal-ecb-officials-say.html

  76. Painhrtz - Salmon of Doubt says:

    when everyone’s credit rating is downgraded is that the new AAA rating? just asking have to get back to work now. Boss lady is mad as I may spend too much time on internet.

  77. 30 Year Realtor says:

    JJ #53 – Over the last 30 years I must have evicted about 1000 tenants and former owners from apartments/houses. Not a single person attempted to hurt me or my property. Some threatened that they would harm me and I told them to go f*ck themselves.

    When evicting tenants for non-payment, I file on the 11th of the month. Waiting 30 days is for wussies! Takes 3 weeks from filing until the case is heard and another 2 weeks to evict.

    Nice guys finish last!

  78. Confused In NJ says:

    A secure compound with food, water, energy, etc. is the hedge for the global meltdown. Gold will be as worthless as paper.

  79. still_looking says:

    ….good grief.

    On a happier note…. I’m having a party on June 11th. I can’t email everyone separately.

    Hell, I can’t even *find* the right handles to people anymore… :( !
    (No, I’m not kidding…. I can’t tell who’s who anymore….)

    Please email grim to forward to me if you have interest in coming. It’s gonna be an all day thing but to have some of the blog here would make me happy :)

    Plus I get to make up for the failed lunch that I woke up too late to host.

    sl

  80. A.West says:

    SL,
    Speaking of name changes, isn’t it time to change your handle to “stopped looking”?

  81. Lone Ranger says:

    Confused [79],

    In what currency do you recommend buying food, water and energy in the future?

  82. Lone Ranger says:

    “Plus I get to make up for the failed lunch that I woke up too late to host.”

    SL,

    Wake me up in 2015-2016.

  83. Painhrtz - Salmon of Doubt says:

    Brass, preferably with copper jackets, and petrol

  84. young buck says:

    Investigation finds Elizabeth school board pressures workers to fill campaign coffers

    “…a four-month investigation by The Star-Ledger, drawing on interviews, lawsuits and internal documents, shows it can also be a relentless political machine fueled by nepotism, patronage, money and favors, using its nearly 4,000 employees as a ready-made fundraising base.

    Among the paper’s findings:

    • At least 20 family members of current and former board members work for the Elizabeth school system, according to payroll records and financial disclosure forms — so many that the board in the past has lacked a quorum to vote on teachers’ contracts because of the extensive conflicts of interest, resolutions show. They include brothers, sisters, brothers-in-law, mothers-in-law, cousins, wives, children and the spouses of children — who together are paid more than $1 million in salaries.

    • Former board president Rafael Fajardo has at least six family members on the payroll. Among them is a sister the board sought state approval to pay more than $50,000 a year to serve as a truancy officer for preschoolers, who are not required to attend school.

    • More than a dozen lawsuits against the board — some alleging nepotism, wrongful termination, discrimination and politically motivated employment practices — have quietly been settled by lawyers for the school system. The board initially refused to release the settlements, claiming they were confidential. Threatened with litigation by the newspaper through the Open Public Records Act, it finally acknowledged the settlements were public, but set a $2,500 fee to provide the documents. Redacted of names and details, one showed a settlement of $500,000. Another was for $205,000.

    • The fundraising goes well beyond school board elections. District employees — in interviews and in lawsuits — say they are also targeted for campaign donations to city council and legislative campaigns. Some get solicitations sent directly to their school e-mail accounts, documents show.

    • Campaign reports often are not filed on time, leading to compliance complaints from state regulators. One year, a quarterly report was filed 379 days late. Nearly a month after the most recent school board election, those just re-elected have yet to file any expenditure reports with the state Election Law Enforcement Commission, as required by law.

    Most recently, some employees were asked in e-mails by board member Paul Perreira and his wife to donate $240 in “membership dues” to support a group called For the People of Union County. Set up last year, the organization produces a weekly newspaper often used to attack political opponents. Perreira did not respond to requests for comment.”

    http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/05/investigation_finds_elizabeth.html

  85. young buck says:

    Bears repeating:

    “…the board sought state approval to pay more than $50,000 a year to serve as a truancy officer for preschoolers, who are not required to attend school.”

  86. Nicholas says:

    Hobo With a Shotgun,

    Seriously you guys make me laugh when I read your comments. Somehow JJ espouses committing crimes to get back at people who have slighted/wronged you and will find you a lawyer that will help define the line of acceptable/inaapropriate retribution AND you turn it into a street cred thing. It isn’t about credibility or lost future opportunities….it is about lying and thinking that is acceptable.

    I agree with you Hobo, when you engage in buisness transactions frequently you cannot come across as weak or else everyone expects a deal. Like I put forth, sometimes you have to bring the heavy. I think that you and I are on the same page in that regards, I just don’t see how you can support JJ’s flawed mentality on retribution as payment.

    In JJ’s friends case he spent additional time in court losing a court case, something that probably cost him money because of legal fees. He spent more time near his angry ex-GF, something no one rightfully enjoys. All for what? The satisfaction of knowing that he got his “money’s worth?” I call BS on that. Total waste of time as well as resources for both him and GF. Is he teaching a lesson to all future GFs that if they owe him money they should pay up? I call BS on that. Is he teaching a lesson to all GFs all around the world to pay up? I doubt it will have that effect.

  87. NJGator says:

    Young Buck 85 – Sorry. Stu is boycotting the Star Ledger because at our local convenience store the Sunday Ledger no longer includes coupons.

  88. JJ says:

    My friend is even better than me. He got screwed on a deposit on his house in Southampton, meanwhile the $1,500 deposit was split 12 ways anyhow on the share house. He drove his porsche out there in October after he got landlords address, SOB still refused to give it back, friend goes ok I am knocking on every nieghbors door to tell them you are a thieving scumbag. Gets to door two of neighbor and guy goes ok I will get you a check, then goes you better get me $1,200 in cash, btw I only have around 20 doors left on block and then I am headed over to Southampton college where you are a professor and school is in session to start telling your co-workers about you. Ten minutes later $1,500 bucks. He then refunded the 12 people. It was only like $125 to him and he made well over 200K, but he is also a nobody backs baby into a corner type guy.

    Renting houses in the hamptons I had one honest landlord the rest of scumbags. Pretty much, mortgage brokers, realtors and landlords must have a higher calling in the afterlife because they serve no useful purpose on earth.

    30 Year Realtor says:
    May 23, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    JJ #53 – Over the last 30 years I must have evicted about 1000 tenants and former owners from apartments/houses. Not a single person attempted to hurt me or my property. Some threatened that they would harm me and I told them to go f*ck themselves.

    When evicting tenants for non-payment, I file on the 11th of the month. Waiting 30 days is for wussies! Takes 3 weeks from filing until the case is heard and another 2 weeks to evict.

    Nice guys finish last!

  89. Painhrtz - Salmon of Doubt says:

    “truancy officer for preschoolers”

    woh be to the poor unfortunate soul who should stumble onto the wrong corner with truant toddlers. You’ll be shaken down for milk money and shived with a binky

    that job may be the most ridiculous thing that this idoitic state nepotism machine has cooked up

  90. 3b says:

    #75 The French would get involved on the side of the Walloons, then the Dutch would feel obligated to defend the Flemish, and the Europeans would have another war on their hands.

  91. Mikeinwaiting says:

    “truancy officer for preschoolers” we need one of those in my town. Note to self call councilmen that I know, there are 4 registered voters in my house I’m in!
    They have got to be kidding, what the hell does this women actually do, never mind it’s Jersey.

  92. JJ says:

    BTW in real estate what is crossing the line? Every party in transaction is out for themselves. The owner wants to sell it for more than its worth, buyer wants it for less than its worth, realtor wants 6% extortion fee, title insurance, CO expeditor, moving men, contractors, it is all a big screwing.

    Also what is the definition of ethical? For instance, I was looking at a house that the house had multiple code violations that I wanted owner to reduce price or fix. He would do neither. Is it ethical to turn him in?

  93. Juice Box says:

    re # 87 – re: BS & Total waste of time as well as resources for both him and GF.

    Nicholas you are using too much brains here and not enough of your other head. Have you never watched one of those Judge Judy type shows? Boyfriend and Girlfriend end up in court will all kinds of grudges and domestic squabbles over STUFF that is usually worthless and petty.

    Besides back in JJ’s day Polyester was in the Bee Gees had five songs in the top ten Billboard Chart and $1200 was allot of money.

  94. Mikeinwaiting says:

    3b 91 as long as we stay the hell out of it should be interesting to watch. Have to get the Germans in the mix. Leopard 2 Vs the French Leclerc, France has better tank IMO but I’d put my money on the Germans.

  95. Nicholas says:

    Juice,

    Judge Judy. Ha Ha.

    The people that appear get paid to go on that show. They also get an expedited case in small claims court with no lawyers. Either you can get paid and have your court case settled in weeks or you can wait for a year in the legal system while paying a lawyer for holding down a desk.

    Ok, maybe 1200$ was a lot back in JJ’s day, I’m not familiar with how old he is but I’m from the 80s-90s and 1200$ was less than one months earnings. Anything less than 5k is small claims.

    I wouldn’t base my reasoning on Judge Judy, Wapner, or Brown because it is just circus at that level.

  96. JJ says:

    $1,200 is a lot of money. Back in the day that would have been a week in club med and a 1/2 share in the hamptons.

    Don’t diss the Brothers Gibb, Andy Gibb got more snatch in his short life than all of us put together

    Juice Box says:
    May 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    re # 87 – re: BS & Total waste of time as well as resources for both him and GF.

    Nicholas you are using too much brains here and not enough of your other head. Have you never watched one of those Judge Judy type shows? Boyfriend and Girlfriend end up in court will all kinds of grudges and domestic squabbles over STUFF that is usually worthless and petty.

    Besides back in JJ’s day Polyester was in the Bee Gees had five songs in the top ten Billboard Chart and $1200 was allot of money.

  97. JJ says:

    My friends summer house was on the people court. Great deal if you lose court pays 100% of amount you owe.

    My other buddies went on Jerry Springer once as identical twins who hate each other (they do not), they were like screaming and yelling at each other all types of made up things, funny as all heck.

    Hey Tom Selleck was discovered on the dating game as a contestant. He lost twice.

  98. Nicholas says:

    JJ,

    I apologize for doubting you.

    http://dealbreaker.com/2011/05/barclays-director-messed-with-the-wrong-dog-napping-brit/

    I guess stupidity abounds, I wonder what happens to this dognapping guy? Jail time? Animal Cruelty? Blackmail? Lying to Police? My guess is that justice will see this guy to his rightful place.

  99. Juice Box says:

    re #96 – Nicholas Can you dig it? It’s a jungle in the NYC especially when were a Playa like JJ. Paternity suits, Polyester Suits and Lawsuits. He once told us once a story about going to 2001 Odyssey in Bay Ridge.

    And to quote Tony Manero – To make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them.

  100. cobbler says:

    Gator [88]
    Complain to the Star-ledger circulation dept., looks like the convenience store owner may be into the coupon fraud; the paper gets money from the coupon owners to put them out, and surely provides them to the store.
    Also, the Ledger is running a special $39/12 mos subscription for Sunday/Thursday, I think till 6/30. You make $63 AND get all the coupons.

  101. Libtard in the City says:

    Snatches JJ?

    Oh lord.

  102. JJ says:

    I can never think of an appropriate politically correct word for that.

    #
    #
    Libtard in the City says:
    May 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Snatches JJ?

    Oh lord.

  103. still_looking says:

    A West., 81

    Well, technically we haven’t stopped looking. While we love our house and the view of the river, my commute is shortening my life, hubby would prefer acreage we could actually use (grow stuff, hunt on, have a shed without paying $gazillion to have permission to build a shed…) and we’d be far enough away that the narcissist relative who is scarring our life would be mitigated to a degree.

    One of my colleagues handed me real estate listings for 30 acres in Hunterdon with outbuildings, pond etc etc. We have no attic, basement, garage or shed. It gets trying to say the least.

    We’ll look to get a permit for a shed hopefully before fall. And yes, we knew this before we bought the house… sadly, we *really* needed to be out of the snake den we were living in. This was a compromise.

    sl

  104. Nicholas says:

    Heh,

    Snatch yeah I have heard that one before, my wife absolutely hates that term. The other one that I like is “trim”. Here I will use it in a sentence.

    Don’t diss the Brothers Gibb, Andy Gibb got more trim in his short life than all of us put together

  105. Painhrtz - Salmon of Doubt says:

    JJ love tunnel, velvet glove?

    Can’t believe you used snatch and it didn’t involve stealing muni bonds from old ladies. Wait never mind, not surprised.

  106. Nicholas says:

    My brother in law busted out with vijayjay the other day while we were playing cards and that was pretty funny.

  107. JJ says:

    The big players club was Regines in NYC. Friend worked there as a bouncer and people gave him $5 bucks to open door as a tip. Cover was $12 bucks a person in 1978. Went there once. Had to dig up a jacket when I was 19 to get in. Friend in early 1980s was making $500 a night tax free there as a doorman. Guy was in college so that was around $1,000 to $2,000 tax free spending money weekly in 1982!!!

    Can remember name of club in Brooklyn, it was around 1992 or 1992 when I went there. I do recall I parked my benz on the sidewalk top down as that is what players do. I also parked on sidewalk at some place called torquise, another place called short ribs and at a place called Vegas diner. Was told players park on sidewalks in Brooklyn. However, the Kennedy’s in Southampton were not amused when I tried to park on their front lawn with explanation the driveway was full. No wonder Arnold cheated, what a stuck up bunch. What am I to park on street with Hoi Polli?

    Juice Box says:
    May 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    re #96 – Nicholas Can you dig it? It’s a jungle in the NYC especially when were a Playa like JJ. Paternity suits, Polyester Suits and Lawsuits. He once told us once a story about going to 2001 Odyssey in Bay Ridge.

    And to quote Tony Manero – To make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them.

  108. JJ says:

    wally don’t be so hard on the beaver

  109. JJ says:

    View the profiles of professionals named Vijay Jay on LinkedIn. There are 13 professionals named Vijay Jay, who use LinkedIn to exchange information

  110. Dan says:

    Not to worry, I’m sure people are fighting hand over fist to move to River Edge…..unlike the rest of the state where everyone is moving out. Fortunately, newborns can still get liar loans to save the housing market.

    http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/20110523/NJNEWS10/305230005/NJ-had-net-loss-53-000-residents-last-year-census-reports?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

  111. Nicholas says:

    While JJ was looking for a jacket to get into clubs where you tipped the doorman 5$ even before you got the privledge of paying the cover charge I was sitting in my car with a busted front seat that I had to prop up with a 2×4. I took the passenger seat and put it where the driver seat should be and passenger sat of floor. Cop looks into the vehicle and says “Son do you realize that you are not sitting in a seat?” the reply, “yeah but at least I have my seat belt on”. The windshield wipers didn’t work so we just applied rain-x and drove faster when we wanted to see. The knob to roll up the window was lost so you had to ask the passenger to hand you his window crank so that you could get some fresh air.

    The battery to the vehicle was dead so we just took it out to save on fuel, problem was we couldn’t ever get the car started without a jump. We yell, anyone wanna give us a jump and when nice guy helps us out he says, “you do realize that you don’t have a battery”, the response was “why do you think we need a jump?”. Later we get a battery but the starter motor dies and we always have to park on a hill and roll the car down the hill and pop it out of neutral to start the motor.

    Sorry if I have a hard time identifying with you JJ.

  112. 3b says:

    #111 There is a place…………

  113. NJGator says:

    Re the preschool truancy officer, I am surprised that we don’t have one. We have a FT Substance Abuse/Student Assistance Counselor in EVERY one of our elementary schools – even the K-2 schools.

    In Lil Gator’s K class, one of the big “homework” assignments throughout the year was to complete a “Reading Adventure” regularly. The school had a goal for each child to read 100 books before the end of the school year. So you read a book with your kid and then the kid says what their favorite part was. After you do this 10 times, you return the sheet to school. It’s now May 23. The teacher keeps track of how many you’ve returned so she can monitor everyone’s progress towards the 100 goal. Over the weekend, Lil Gator named at least 3 kids in his class of 24 that have returned a total of 0 since September.

  114. JJ says:

    Rich kid, seat belts were not standard equipment till 1964. You must of had one of those newer cars.

    My crappiest car did not have a gas pedal. It rusted out as there was no floorboard. So I popped a rubber gasket out under dash took a coat hanger to carb and pulled on it to get car moving. That was funny. My cheap car stories are stuff of legend. I still love time I had a first date with a hot girl the night before I was junking my car. I figured I borrow my brothers. Stupid car crashed into the entrance of st. johns, then got sideswiped by archway in Bronx then to top it off out in suffolk I lost control on a turn and bent the frame so left tire would flip flop on turns as subframe was 90% cut.

    So I take the car anyhow on date, I back down the girls one way street so she can see nose of car and drivers side. Nose of car if a loose term as bumper, grill, turn indicators and left fender no longer existed. Anyhow as I am pulling away dad looks out window after girl was inside and notices the extremely heavily damaged car that his daughter is pulling away from house in with a guy she met in a club night before and only has first name, he actually started running across lawn. Needless to say after movie girl did notice car on way home was swaying like the titanic head for iceberg, I pulled up dad was running out the door and I took off. I was praying it would make it home as I was getting $35 bucks for the scrap metal in morning.

    I guess three years ago when my car got totaled and the windows blew out, a tire blew out and the frame got bent if cop knew me better he would have not been suprised when he asked me if I needed a tow truck and I said no and drove home. Who needs four tires and a windshield. I left the other car just in middle of street. No body backs baby into a corner. Or baby’s car.

    Nicholas says:
    May 23, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    While JJ was looking for a jacket to get into clubs where you tipped the doorman 5$ even before you got the privledge of paying the cover charge I was sitting in my car with a busted front seat that I had to prop up with a 2×4. I took the passenger seat and put it where the driver seat should be and passenger sat of floor. Cop looks into the vehicle and says “Son do you realize that you are not sitting in a seat?” the reply, “yeah but at least I have my seat belt on”. The windshield wipers didn’t work so we just applied rain-x and drove faster when we wanted to see. The knob to roll up the window was lost so you had to ask the passenger to hand you his window crank so that you could get some fresh air.

    The battery to the vehicle was dead so we just took it out to save on fuel, problem was we couldn’t ever get the car started without a jump. We yell, anyone wanna give us a jump and when nice guy helps us out he says, “you do realize that you don’t have a battery”, the response was “why do you think we need a jump?”. Later we get a battery but the starter motor dies and we always have to park on a hill and roll the car down the hill and pop it out of neutral to start the motor.

    Sorry if I have a hard time identifying with you JJ.

  115. Lone Ranger says:

    Greece can’t refinance and they can’t pay their debt. Do they consult with Hobo/Clot and initiate a short sale? Better option, foreclosure.

    In the meantime, the gong show continues in DC. Before long there will be dislocation in the bond market and fat fingers will turn purple. No need to worry, the core rate indicates inflation is buried. One must admit, as the charade continues to spin out of control, the jesters do keep us entertained.

    My next nominee for Fed Chair, even head of IMF; Nurse Ratched.

  116. A.West says:

    JJ,
    How did you manage to flip between a car with no gas pedal and Mercedes convertible within such a short period? Or was it the same car?

  117. Lone Ranger says:

    AW [117],

    The same individual who quit basketball in his soph year in hs, since he could not get up and down the court. Yet, he was so talented that he received multiple scholarships to play b-ball in college.

  118. Barbara says:

    any experience with NFM inc mortgage?

  119. chicagofinance says:

    If you are going to use snatch….then why not in the context of the nice snatch…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickey_Henderson

  120. chicagofinance says:

    Hobo With a Shotgun says:
    May 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm
    Want mayonnaise on those fries?

    SPEAKING OF MAYO

    Strauss-Kahn’s DNA found on maid’s clothes: report

    Looks like his reputation may be stained for good.

    Traces of sperm from disgraced former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn were found on the clothes worn by the maid who claims she was sexually assaulted inside a Manhattan hotel room, according to a new report.

    The French website Atlantico.fr reported today that Strauss-Kahn’s DNA was found on the woman’s dress, saying the NYPD notified French authorities of the development on Sunday.

    Strauss-Kahn’s defense team has said the alleged assault may have been consensual.

    A maid at the posh Sofitel hotel has accused Strauss-Kahn of allegedly attacking her and forcing her to submit to oral sex.

    A grand jury indicted Strauss-Kahn, 62, last week on seven counts, which carry up to 25 years behind bars, including charges of criminal sexual assault, attempted rape and sexual abuse.

    Strauss-Kahn is currently under house arrest inside an apartment in lower Manhattan after spending nearly a week at Rikers Island.

    Denying he is guilty of sexually assaulting the maid, Strauss-Kahn has told the fund’s staff of his “profound sadness and frustration” in having to resign his post after he was arrested May 14.

    In an e-mail obtained by CNN, Strauss-Kahn, who has been under house arrest since Friday night, wrote, “I deny in the strongest possible terms the allegations which I now face.”

    IMF acting head John Lipsky forwarded the e-mail to the fund’s staff on Sunday night, CNN reported.

    The e-mail comes as The Post reported that Strauss-Kahn attempted to lure two attractive hotel employees to his $3,000-a-night hotel suite — and later put the moves on an Air France flight attendant following his alleged sexual assault on a maid.

    “What a nice ass!” he barked to the attendant, using the lewd French expression “Quel beau cul!” as she prepared the business-class cabin for takeoff last Saturday.

    His catcall came just moments before Port Authority detectives hauled him off the plane, the French magazine Le Point reported.

    The final act of lust capped a whirlwind weekend of attempted womanizing for the former front-runner of the 2012 French presidential election.

  121. willwork4beer says:

    ChiFi,

    Sorry that I haven’t responded to your posts. First, Memphis Tap Room has a hell of a beer list. Everything on there is rocking. Second, from a guy who is a former Philly resident and Temple grad, that area is not that bad. A little further west and you have some serious ‘hood. That area is a bit sketchy but not as horrible as West Kensington (aka the badlands) a few blocks away.

  122. chicagofinance says:

    Hobo With a Shotgun says:
    May 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm
    Want mayonnaise on those fries?

    SPEAKING OF MAYO

    Strauss-Kahn’s DNA found on maid’s clothes: report

    Looks like his reputation may be stained for good.

    Traces of sp-rm from disgraced former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn were found on the clothes worn by the maid who claims she was s-xually assaulted inside a Manhattan hotel room, according to a new report.

    The French website Atlantico.fr reported today that Strauss-Kahn’s DNA was found on the woman’s dress, saying the NYPD notified French authorities of the development on Sunday.

    Strauss-Kahn’s defense team has said the alleged assault may have been consensual.

    A maid at the posh Sofitel hotel has accused Strauss-Kahn of allegedly attacking her and forcing her to submit to oral s-x.

    A grand jury indicted Strauss-Kahn, 62, last week on seven counts, which carry up to 25 years behind bars, including charges of criminal s-xual assault, attempted r-pe and s-xual abuse.

    Strauss-Kahn is currently under house arrest inside an apartment in lower Manhattan after spending nearly a week at Rikers Island.

    Denying he is guilty of s-xually assaulting the maid, Strauss-Kahn has told the fund’s staff of his “profound sadness and frustration” in having to resign his post after he was arrested May 14.

    In an e-mail obtained by CNN, Strauss-Kahn, who has been under house arrest since Friday night, wrote, “I deny in the strongest possible terms the allegations which I now face.”

    IMF acting head John Lipsky forwarded the e-mail to the fund’s staff on Sunday night, CNN reported.

    The e-mail comes as The Post reported that Strauss-Kahn attempted to lure two attractive hotel employees to his $3,000-a-night hotel suite — and later put the moves on an Air France flight attendant following his alleged s-xual assault on a maid.

    “What a nice ass!” he barked to the attendant, using the lewd French expression “Quel beau cul!” as she prepared the business-class cabin for takeoff last Saturday.

    His catcall came just moments before Port Authority detectives hauled him off the plane, the French magazine Le Point reported.

    The final act of lust capped a whirlwind weekend of attempted womanizing for the former front-runner of the 2012 French presidential election.

  123. Neanderthal Economist says:

    “IMO, he is still the best player ever…”
    Hobo, google the video where maradona dribbles through the whole english team and scores. It was the same game as hand of God, but one minute later. After watching that you realise messi is not even close.

  124. Confused In NJ says:

    82.Lone Ranger says:
    May 23, 2011 at 2:09 pm
    Confused [79],

    In what currency do you recommend buying food, water and energy in the future?

    You don’t. Your supplies need to last you through your own first Harvest. As far as bartering, stock up on supplys that can be traded, for items you can’t grow, fish or hunt.

  125. Barbara says:

    Stu,
    You’ve got mail.

  126. Neanderthal Economist says:

    Messi hand ball goal (with cheesy euro techno music)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=Bz1zns7saUE

  127. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    jj (93)-

    Totally ethical to report code violations on a house where the owner won’t cure.

    Early in my career, I used to report septic failures to the county engineer when sellers wouldn’t agree to fix them. Most NJ counties call for per diem fines and occupants to move out of houses with failed septics.

  128. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    jj (97)-

    It is either a sign of genius or madness that I come to this blog for perspective.

    “Don’t diss the Brothers Gibb, Andy Gibb got more snatch in his short life than all of us put together.”

  129. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    veets (123)-

    That’s the play that made Maradona the FIFA player of the decade. Still the greatest goal ever scored.

    I would submit Messi’s performance in the 5-0 win over Real Madrid as the greatest overall 90 minutes ever played by an individual, but I guess the purists wouldn’t count it because it was club football.

  130. Hobo With a Shotgun says:

    Xavi’s game in the last Euro final has to be one of the best 90 minutes ever, as well.

  131. grim says:

    Kitchen finalized.

    Island will be 12 feet x 42 inches!

    Would have love to gone the full 4′ x 12′, but we just don’t have the width (one side of the island will be seating, the other the main work aisle).

  132. chicagofinance says:

    check out Elliot Easton….son of a bitch still can deal….
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VyRVIBaYhA

  133. A.West says:

    Chifi,
    You see, the europeans have a more mature attitude toward sixual affairs than us Americans. They are shocked that we turn these things into scandals.
    Politicians are so accustomed to screwing their flocks, sometimes they forget what the line is.

  134. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [79] confused

    “A secure compound with food, water, energy, etc. is the hedge for the global meltdown.”

    You like me! You really like me!

  135. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    Okay not everyone here is old enough to remember Sally Fields accepting an Oscar.

  136. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [108] JJ

    Ah, this is classic JJ

    “Was told players park on sidewalks in Brooklyn. However, the Kennedy’s in Southampton were not amused when I tried to park on their front lawn with explanation the driveway was full. No wonder Arnold cheated, what a stuck up bunch. What am I to park on street with Hoi Polli? ”

    JJ, I had no problem parking at the Kennedy Compound in Hyannisport. The last time I was there, I really had fun frying Joe Kennedy’s onions for getting my name wrong. And I was surprised Kerry remembered me from the same party a year prior. She’s a riot.

  137. Comrade Nom Deplume says:

    [105] Nicholas,

    Wow, Trim. That is old school. Even older are muff or quim (never could figure out that last one).

  138. JC says:

    A. West #133: Raping a housekeeper is not an extramarital affair. Rape is a crime of violence with s s*xual manifestation. Please do not confuse the two.

  139. sas3 says:

    ʇsǝʇ

  140. the market for a strong woods bike designed for North Shore punishment yet light .. shore rider knows that if youre going with a single crown fork Marzocchi .. A year of abuse on the shore alerted the warranty guys to an issue at ..

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