How to win a bidding war? – 9 tips from a f*cking idiot

From Housingwire:

How to win a bidding war in today’s outrageous housing market

1. Offer Full Price or More. Money is a major factor in a seller’s decision, but not the only one. Holy shit – what are we paying this guy for this kind of insight. Surefire way to find yourself with the winner’s curse

2. Eliminate Seller Paid Closing Costs/Points. It is not full price if you then ask the seller to pay your closing costs. If you need to the closing costs covered, make sure your offer Nets the seller at least what a full price offer would. So basically, offer more money, no different than point 1 above.

3. Large earnest money up front. Show the seller you are committed and putting up risk to stand by your “word” (purchase agreement) to buy the home. Should more clearly indicate that what you are doing here is trading the potential loss of earnest money for a potential discount, there is a significant cost to this should the buyer find themselves in a position needing to walk away. Husband killed in a car accident a week before closing? Sorry lady, you are out of luck.

4. Cash is King. Go in with cash if possible to eliminate problems of appraisals and financing. Appraisals are a problem as prices are increasing. New regulations make it difficult for appraisers and banks to meet the market changes. How exactly does this help someone to win a bidding war? It’s idiotic to even mention this. If someone could afford the property without financing, why would they finance?

5. Closing date should match seller’s preferred date. Buyers agent should ask Seller’s agent what date the seller would like close on. Probably the only realistic suggestion in the bunch

6. Allow seller a couple extra days possession after closing this gives them time to move out and lowers their stress. (frowned on by attorneys.) Absolutely terrible idea, of course it’s frowned on by attorneys, because now if they decide they like the house and want to stay, you’ll need to go through the eviction process to kick them out. They could be in there for months, if not years, depending on the jurisdiction.

7. If buyer is financing, include a statement that the buyer will make up the price difference in cash if the home doesn’t appraise out for purchase price. (if buyer can do so) If buyer can’t pay cash, this will also relieve the concern of an appraisal problem. Oh, for f*ck’s sake, now we aren’t just going to risk getting the winner’s curse, we’re going to go ahead and guarantee it

8. If buyer is doing an inspection, have buyer provide a statement that they will not nit-pick any items to re-negotiate price, but only structural or mechanical failures. Inspections were intended to be a way for the buyer to make sure they were not purchasing a major problem. Too often this is now being used as a way to re-negotiate the price with the seller. Remove this potential concern for the seller. C’mon man, just all out with it, why not just suggest to eliminate the inspection contingency outright? Also, you’ve never heard of death by a thousand cuts? I assure you, those houses exist

9. If buyer is financing, have a well prepared Pre-Approval letter from the lender. Make sure it does not come across as a pre-qualification letter. Most buyer’s have no clue, if it’s got the bank’s logo up top, it’s official. Besides, pre-approval don’t mean shit if the deal can’t make it through underwriting anyway

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47 Responses to How to win a bidding war? – 9 tips from a f*cking idiot

  1. grim says:

    The inspiration to this post was hearing that Circle Players in Piscataway would be putting on Glengarry Glen Ross this evening at 8. Everything you ever wanted to know about real estate, and certainly better advice than that idiot.

    How do you win a bidding war? Don’t bid.

  2. Essex says:

    Are we still in a ” buyer’s market “? I’m confused.

  3. Fast Eddie says:

    On the train and can’t contain myself. This may very well be the best lead article ever posted on this blog. Oh…. my….. G0d!

  4. JJ says:

    Those 9 tips only make sense if seller underpriced home by a lot and you want to snag it.

  5. Ben says:

    Bought in Oct 2013. Literally, the last nice house in town that year. Went to the 1st open house. It was packed, much more so than any other home. Really nice setup. 1st floor is completely open. Hardwood floors. High quality construction. Only 15 years old. Maintained to perfection. Yadda yadda yadda. Visited the home a day later and took pictures of everywhere. I got it into attorney review within a week of it being on the market.

    Found out a year later that there were 6 different bids on the home from the neighbor. It was pretty easy. There was no bidding war. They listed at 459k. I figured market value was $435 max. Came in at 425k, they countered at 445k. We agreed at 435 k. Took about 4 hours. My real estate agent also was awesome and got it done that fast. I’m sure there were some people that would have came in and bid it up. They didn’t get a chance to. I watched the next few homes that came on the market get bid up.

  6. Comrade Nom Deplume, the loan snark says:

    Where’s Michael? That realtor needs a friend here.

  7. Comrade Nom Deplume, the loan snark says:

    [3] Eddie,

    Make sure you clean that off the seatback. The next commuter doesn’t need to see your spooge.

  8. grim says:

    From the Record:

    NJ unemployment rate ticks up to 6.5% as it loses 6,400 jobs in March

    After adding jobs for eight months in a row, New Jersey lost 6,400 jobs in March, state labor officials said Thursday. The unemployment rate ticked up to 6.5 percent, remaining above the national rate of 5.5 percent.

    There was some good news in the monthly jobs report, however; the number of jobs added in February was revised upward to a healthy 9,200. In the first quarter, the state has added a total of 8,500 jobs, according to the state Department of Labor and Workforce Development.

    In a statement, Governor Christie said that “long-term employment trends remain positive for New Jersey,” pointing out that labor officials recently revised upward the number of jobs created in the state in 2013 and 2014. Economists, however, noted that the state’s jobs recovery has consistently lagged the national pace.

    March’s job losses were led by declines of 4,600 jobs in trade, transportation and utilities; 3,000 jobs in professional and business services and 2,300 jobs in construction. Overall, the private sector lost 5,800 jobs, while governments shed 600 jobs.

    The losses were partly offset by gains in manufacturing, information and education and health services. Unemployment rose slightly, from 6.4 percent to 6.5 percent, although it’s down from 6.8 percent in March 2014.

  9. clotluva says:

    Wait, I’m confused. Does this mean I no longer have to agree to feed the squirrels?

  10. Anon E. Moose says:

    Are we quite certain they didn’t accidentally republish something from 2005?

  11. chicagofinance says:

    grim: X^nax will help you…..pop about six or seven….chase with hard alcohol……

  12. FKA 2010 Buyer says:

    Gives new meaning to “a fool and his money are parted”

  13. anon (the good one) says:

    what?
    you bought the last house in your town a week after being put on the market. (the very last house?)
    a yr later the neighbors house is on sale and has 6 bids on it. you underbid everybody and win the house in 4 hrs. (wow, so you own 2 houses?)
    right after, all the other houses on sale are bid up (but wasn’t your first house the last house up for sale?)

    Ben says:
    April 17, 2015 at 8:32 am
    Bought in Oct 2013. Literally, the last nice house in town that year. Went to the 1st open house. It was packed, much more so than any other home. Really nice setup. 1st floor is completely open. Hardwood floors. High quality construction. Only 15 years old. Maintained to perfection. Yadda yadda yadda. Visited the home a day later and took pictures of everywhere. I got it into attorney review within a week of it being on the market.

    Found out a year later that there were 6 different bids on the home from the neighbor. It was pretty easy. There was no bidding war. They listed at 459k. I figured market value was $435 max. Came in at 425k, they countered at 445k. We agreed at 435 k. Took about 4 hours. My real estate agent also was awesome and got it done that fast. I’m sure there were some people that would have came in and bid it up. They didn’t get a chance to. I watched the next few homes that came on the market get bid up.

  14. Essex says:

    Ahhhhhh Friday. Can I get an Amen….?

  15. Comrade Nom Deplume, the loan snark says:

    Some red meat for the sociali . . .er . . .progressives lurking . . .

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/102585784

    The Obamunists will cheer but the ADP study is really much ado about nothing. It covered large employers, the cohort that was expected to be least affected by Obamacare. This study simply confirms what most expected for and from that cohort.

  16. Juice Box says:

    re # 14 – not with out the Hallelujah.

  17. FKA 2010 Buyer says:

    Is this happening in America?

    2 Brooklyn Landlords, Accused of Making Units Unlivable, Are Charged With Fraud

    One morning in February 2014, Silveria Hormiga, who lived at 324 Central Avenue in Bushwick, a rapidly gentrifying area of Brooklyn, left for a doctor’s appointment.
    By the time she returned at 11 a.m., it appeared that her apartment had undergone some rapid changes as well.

    “Upon gaining entry,” said an indictment unsealed on Thursday in State Supreme Court in Brooklyn, she “observed that the apartment was destroyed — the kitchen and bathroom were demolished and rendered unusable.”

    In what prosecutors and New York City officials described as a particularly egregious example of tenant hounding, the owners, Joel and Aaron Israel, who are brothers, were arrested on Thursday on charges that they intentionally wrecked tenants’ apartments at 324 Central and other buildings to try to drive residents out and also lied to city officials about the work they were doing.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/17/nyregion/brooklyn-landlords-joel-and-aaron-israel-arrested.html?_r=1

  18. Painhrtz - Disobey! says:

    Jesus holy Christmas sitting in training in New job almost spit my coffee out. There is no communal memory. Anyone who takes this dumb dumb’s advice needs to get exactly what they deserve. Back to lurking

  19. D-FENS says:

    anon, you are so dumb it is remarkable.

  20. Fast Eddie says:

    Nom [7],

    Lol! Grim’s lead article today is satire, right? Do you see why I’m out of this house hunting ordeal? Can you beieve how f.uckign stup1d we as a country have become? How does one compete against a slow, dim-witted populace?

  21. homeboken says:

    Eddie – To be fair, the author of this article was a sophomore in HS during the last recession. She’s got a grand total of 2 years post-college experience to lean on, and that communications degree from Evangel University seems to be letting her down in job prospect department.

    The internet is an amazing place, anyone can write anything and publish by clicking a button. This author has close to zero credentials and yet has spent the time to present this article.

  22. grim says:

    21 – C’mon, don’t give her all the credit, she just interviewed the guy.

  23. anon (the good one) says:

    yes, apparently there are, like, websites and boards like that with people posting stuff

    homeboken says:
    April 17, 2015 at 11:16 am

    The internet is an amazing place, anyone can write anything and publish by clicking a button….author has close to zero credentials

  24. grim says:

    Except that here, no visitor is coming with any expectation of authority or credential.

  25. chicagofinance says:

    UNIONTOWN, Pa. – A motorist told cops she had a perfectly reasonable explanation for driving off the road and crashing into a guardrail: her pet parrot kept drinking her coffee, the Press Herald reports. She was on the road at 5 p.m. Tuesday when she noticed the parrot was pecking at the lid of her coffee cup, trying to get to all the goodness inside. When she focused on the parrot, the car went off the road and smashed into the guardrail. Cops say it was evident she was telling the truth, finding birdseed in the cup-holder, and a few feathers nearby.

  26. POS cape says:

    “If you need to the closing costs covered, make sure your offer Nets the seller at least what a full price offer would.”

    With the butchered grammar and capitalization of “Nets”, I’d say the article was manufactured in China, like everything else.

  27. FKA 2010 Buyer says:

    Move along, nothing to see here.

    New Jersey Cut by Moody’s as Christie Gets Ninth Debt Downgrade

    New Jersey had its credit rating cut one level by Moody’s Investors Service, giving Governor Chris Christie the ninth downgrade of his tenure as he considers a 2016 presidential run.

    The reduction to A2, the sixth-highest rank, brings the Moody’s mark in line with those of Standard & Poor’s and Fitch Ratings. The move covers a combined $32.2 billion of debt, New York-based Moody’s said in a statement late Thursday. The company put a negative outlook on the state, meaning more rating reductions may be ahead.

    The 52-year-old Republican governor’s tally of downgrades is three more than the previous recordholder, Democrat James McGreevey, who made minimal pension payments for three straight years and borrowed to balance the budget until the state Supreme Court banned him from doing so. Christie took office in 2010.

    The rating cut was based on “the lack of improvement in the state’s weak financial position and large structural imbalance, primarily related to continued pension contribution shortfalls,” Moody’s said. “We expect liquidity and structural balance to remain very weak through fiscal 2016.”

    http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2015-04-17/new-jersey-cut-by-moody-s-as-christie-gets-ninth-debt-downgrade

  28. Libturd (channeling Blumpkin) says:

    Christie should do what the progressives did in Montclair. Increase the bond rating by mortgaging the 250 million in bonds out further into the future. Now Montclair pays significantly less in current debt service (16 million a year in current budget) but pays for many more years than they used to have to.

  29. FKA 2010 Buyer says:

    This week’s privileged news edition…..

    ESPN disciplines snotty Mount Holly native Britt McHenry for obnoxious rant at attendant

    She continued her rant even after the attendant warned her that she was on video. McHenry looks at the camera, but carries on with her snooty behavior, which was captured for all the world — including her employers — to see.

    You can watch the video, which includes profanity, here.

    “I’m on television, and you’re in a [bleeping] trailer, honey,” she later says.

    After referring to the attendant as a “college dropout,” McHenry adds, “Maybe if I was missing some teeth, they would hire me, huh?”

    http://www.nj.com/sports/index.ssf/2015/04/espn_disciplines_reporter_britt_mchenry_for_rant_a.html#incart_related_stories

  30. joyce says:

    9 downgrades and we’re at the 6th rank? we’re there some upgrades amongst all the down

    Moody’s… they have any credibility left? (not defending NJ’s fiscal mess)

    FKA 2010 Buyer says:
    April 17, 2015 at 12:32 pm
    Move along, nothing to see here.

    New Jersey Cut by Moody’s as Christie Gets Ninth Debt Downgrade

    New Jersey had its credit rating cut one level by Moody’s Investors Service, giving Governor Chris Christie the ninth downgrade of his tenure as he considers a 2016 presidential run.

    The reduction to A2, the sixth-highest rank,

  31. Libturd (channeling Blumpkin) says:

    Who needs credibility from the ratings agencies. They are the paid pawns of the IBs.

  32. Essex says:

    Stupid – referring to Christie as ‘Presidential hopeful’ in every write-up.

    He has no chance at a national office. Meaning he’s ours – Yay.

  33. homeboken says:

    anon @ 23 – Looks like I ruffled some feathers there, sport. My apologies if I insulted your alma mater. Then again, the author of the article is light-years ahead of you – she actually attempts an original thought as opposed to your CTRL-C, CTRL-V daily twitter masturbation.

  34. FKA 2010 Buyer says:

    [31] Joyce

    Maybe they are counting downgrade “warning watches”

  35. Comrade Nom Deplume, Loan Snark says:

    [33] boken

    Nice takedown. I cede you my sobriquet “the anon-tidote”

  36. Comrade Nom Deplume, Loan Snark says:

    In the car channelsurfing and I hear Gasparino report that Feds will block Comcast-TW merger. Per Gasparino, Comcast apparently lavished a lot of dough on Obama and even hired Sharpton as a favor to Obama. He speculated what would happen to Sharpton if the deal is officially blocked. If he’s axed, we’ll know.

  37. Ben says:

    what?
    you bought the last house in your town a week after being put on the market. (the very last house?)
    a yr later the neighbors house is on sale and has 6 bids on it. you underbid everybody and win the house in 4 hrs. (wow, so you own 2 houses?)
    right after, all the other houses on sale are bid up (but wasn’t your first house the last house up for sale?)

    No, I found out from the neighbor that the house that I bought had six other bids on it when I was putting in a bid that came in a few thousand lower. The neighbor’s house never went up for sale. The neighbor told me about the bids on my house. The point was, the bidding war never came about because I got to their reasonable price right away. Had it went over 445k in some type of bidding war, I would have had to walk away. Never got to that point because my agent was on his game while the 6 other agents probably sat on their ass and told them they’d put in a counter the next day.

  38. AG says:

    20,

    Eddie,

    These dumbshits are going get smoked in the upcoming credit crisis. Revenge is best served cold.

  39. AG says:

    Re: Fat F_ck Christie,

    I read an article about that hamburger eating pile of crap promoting means testing for social security. This was discussed in detail on this board years ago.

    What a fraud. I know obesity lowers one’s self esteem but for Christ’s sake. Think for yourself you fat bastard.

  40. AG says:

    28,

    Libtard,

    It could be a genius move if we go to negative interest rates like Europe. Only suckers like me pay their mortgage.

  41. AG says:

    Utterly F_CKED!
    That’s what I call this country. Only when we completely collapse. I mean trash can fires to keep us warm type of sh_t will this country have a hope in hell of reversing trend.

    Get a second citizenship. Im heading back to the old country for a couple years.

  42. Essex says:

    AG – you mad bro…?

  43. Fabius Maximus says:

    “there is a significant cost to this should the buyer find themselves in a position needing to walk away.”

    The bigger the Earnest Money, the bigger the handcuffs holding you to the property. I had a stand off with a buyer.
    He was N&Ding the inspection over some old termite damage and wanted a whole slew of testing and preventative treatment.
    I told him No and I would see him at closing.
    He threated to walk.
    I told him the only way his Earnest money is moving is over the closing table.
    He says you cant sell unless I get my money back.
    I said I would quite happily live in the house while I wait for him to set the closing date or for the years it will take him in court to sue me to break the contract.

    In the end the Realtors ate the cost.

  44. Fabius Maximus says:

    #33 Homeboken

    You accuse him of cut and paste, which in itself is a cut and paste of an insult thrown at him in here by posters other than you.

    Quite the irony!

  45. Fabius Maximus says:

    #39 AG

    Voter Remorse?

    How many in here pulled the lever for him (Twice).

  46. AG says:

    45,

    Fabius,

    Another braindead libtard. Most people voted for the fat man to buy us time. Corzine is a f_ckin criminal at large.

    I am checked out an ready to go. Are you?

  47. Comrade Nom Deplume, the loan snark says:

    [46] AG

    “I am checked out an ready to go. Are you?”

    Why do you think he’s here?

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