Want to sell your house? Wrap it in bacon.

From the Star Ledger:

When it’s time to sell your home, words matter

So you’re selling your house. You could keep the listing short and simple: “3BR, 1BA, eat-in kitchen.”

Or you could do what real estate agent Maryanne Elsaesser did when she wrote this listing description for a client’s home:

“With magical, embracing arms, this home can whisk you right back to your childhood. Remember racing down the street with your brand new Schwinn bike to be greeted by the smell of bacon frying for your special BLT lunch….”

There are as many ways to describe a home as there are homes. And many experts agree with Elsaesser that it’s not enough to dryly recite a home’s features; it’s also smart to touch a buyer’s emotions and tell a story about the property. Just as photos are crucial, choosing the right words can make a difference in how fast a home sells, and for what price.

“It’s important to give a little bit of the flavor and character of the home,” said Lisa Sammataro, a Keller Williams agent in Ridgewood (and a former English major). “Sometimes you try to create an image of what it might be like to live there.”

“Words play on the imagination in a way that a photograph cannot,” said Beth Freed of Prominent Properties Sotheby’s International Realty in Ridgewood, who likes to evoke images like the wedding you could someday host in the backyard of the home.

One thing seems clear: there’s no need to be terse. Zillow executives Spencer Rascoff and Stan Humphries analyzed tons of listings on the online real estate site for their 2015 book, “Zillow Talk.” They found that longer descriptions — up to 250 words — tend to boost the sale price.

Rascoff and Humphries also found that sellers do best when they highlight a home’s specific advantages. So if you’ve got granite counters, let the world know. At the same time, bland words like “nice” are deadly, because they suggest you don’t have anything very meaningful to say about the home.

And “cute” or “cozy”? Everyone knows that means “small.” Rascoff and Humphries also say you should avoid “unique” because homebuyers take that to mean it’s a place only a few people will love.

Property poets face some constraints, of course. You can’t write a novel, because the multiple listing services limit how many words agents can use. In the case of the New Jersey Multiple Listing Service, it’s 1,000 characters, or about 250 words, which happens to be the magic number cited by “Zillow Talk.”

This entry was posted in Humor, National Real Estate. Bookmark the permalink.

72 Responses to Want to sell your house? Wrap it in bacon.

  1. grim says:

    So what’s your forecast Stu? Matthew seems to be tracking left of every forecast/model to date. Also looking to be threading the needle to maintain maximum intensity past Jamaica/Haiti/Cuba.

  2. NeverTrump (the good one) says:

    @brithume
    No. We’re too busy working on story about Hillary getting special instructions through her fillings.

    @EPGCON
    @brithume are you going to report on Hillarys teleprompter and Lesters ear piece during the debate?

  3. grim says:

    Looks pretty bad for Haiti – incredible amount of rain forecast. Did I hear right? Localized areas might see as much as 40 inches?

  4. Steamturd still chopping says:

    In what world does the Government subsidize huge college loans and then forgives it only for government workers? Does the private sector feel screwed enough yet?

  5. nwnj3 says:

    Anyone else wearing tinfoil today? The first data recorder on the train that crashed in Hoboken was inoperable and the engineer knows nothing. This was the day before the gas tax increase(SEE we need the money). If that second recorder is inoperable as well then you can include me in the conspiracy crowd on this one.

  6. 1987 Condo says:

    Well, I definitely think the accident made them reach a deal ASAP..need the gas money to buy those 700 $1 million each buses, fix the Hoboken train station, pay the fines and actually install working recorders..maybe some left for the roads?

  7. grim says:

    Nobody is going to crash a train to push a budget move, that’s insanity.

    Don’t confuse ineptness with conspiracy.

  8. Ben says:

    In what world does the Government subsidize huge college loans and then forgives it only for government workers? Does the private sector feel screwed enough yet?

    More offensive than that is the non-profit forgiveness. You can get hired by a non profit at a more than generous salary and get your loans forgiven.

  9. D-FENS says:

    @aconman_
    People should be angry that Trump exploited a loophole. And by “loophole” I mean “law,” and by “exploited” I mean “followed.”

  10. D-FENS says:

    @aconman_
    I bet Trump dodges having to pay traffic tickets by stopping at red lights.

  11. D-FENS says:

    https://twitter.com/danney_williams
    Danney Williams
    @danney_williams
    I’m the son of the 42nd President of the United States- Bill Clinton.

  12. nwnj3 says:

    I’m not implying anything far reaching, even as far as Trenton. But the transportation shutdown must have been taking a toll on the bottom line of the grifters who skim off the transportation projects. All that you need is 1-2 wise guy union hacks to muck with the system and you have a disaster waiting to happen.

    It’s still astonishing to me that only one person was killed in that accident, and that it was even possible for that to happen with automatic safety mechanisms.

  13. NeverTrump (the good one) says:

    by definition these trump supporters are confused.

    yes, inept too, but most certainly confused

    grim says:
    October 3, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Don’t confuse ineptness

  14. Steamturd still chopping says:

    Looking at the latest on Matt. Gitmo will be closed by nature. It’s hard to tell whether it will go out see or nail the Carolinas. If it does hit inland it will most certainly end the drought. Closest major storm to follow that track is Emily and she went east out to sea. This storm is going to absolutely wreck the Caribbean. Definitely warrants closer watching. Most storms this south end up in gulf. Very rare for a storm to make a sharp right. We will know a lot more once she’s through cuba. If she goes East, we good. West, probably ok. If she keeps on straight north. Lookout!

  15. NeverTrump (the good one) says:

    @ReaganWorld
    My father would not support this kind of campaign,
    if this is what the Republican Party wants leave us Reagans out.
    Nancy would vote for HRC

    @mjclaxden
    @ReaganWorld, there are two choices…like it or not.
    I wish your Dad were still here.
    While I was for @CarlyFiorina,
    I am loyal to GOP.

  16. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Steamturd,

    Beautiful. I already know exactly how I can help people game that system. I love it!!!

  17. grim says:

    Worth noting, Matthew’s track is nearly identical to Sandy.

  18. Steamturd still chopping says:

    Stop. You are scaring everyone. Sandy started down by Siuth America and brewed in the gulf awhile. Matt’s coming from the East. Also, Matt is much stronger than Sandy was at this point.

  19. grim says:

    Nobody who reads this blog buys milk and bread.

  20. grim says:

    The realistic forecast is that it shreds NJ’s coastline, causing significant beach erosion, as it travels off-shore, up the east coast.

    Spending millions on rebuilding beaches is starting to seem futile.

  21. Steamturd still chopping says:

    I hope it stops over that one guy’s house in LBI who refuses to allow them to rebuild the dunes.

  22. chicagofinance says:

    Bass Pro Shops reached a deal to acquire Cabela’s Inc. for about $4.5 billion in cash, combining two of the biggest sellers of outdoor-sports equipment and apparel.

    Cabela’s shareholders will receive $65.50 a share, a 19% premium to Friday’s close, in a deal the companies say will combine complementary product lines and domestic geographic markets. The companies valued the deal at $5.5 billion; company-provided deal values often include debt and other items.

    Shares of Cabela’s, up 18% this year, rose about 15% to $63.00 in recent premarket trading.

    The move comes as the sporting goods industry has been struggling with tepid sales. Cabelas in December had said that it was reviewing its strategic options, including a possible sale, as the outdoor-sports retailer was under pressure from activist investor Elliot Management Corp. Reuters in April had reported that Bass Pro Shops was preparing an offer for Cabelas.

    Privately owned Bass Pro Shops also said it will begin a multiyear partnership with a unit of Capital One Financial Corp. for a Cabela’s co-branded credit card. The companies said their customer-loyalty programs will remain unchanged.

    The deal, which is expected to close in the first half of next year, includes Cabela’s 85 specialty retail stores, primarily in the western U.S. and Canada and Bass Pro Shops’ 99 stores and Tracker Marine Centers located primarily in the eastern part of the U.S. and Canada.

  23. Steamturd still chopping says:

    I guarantee you that crashed train engineer either had a stroke or they’ll say he had a stroke. They will never admit that he fell asleep.

  24. chicagofinance says:

    You heard about the recent audit of NJ Transit? Common finding was ineptness at the senior levels of the organization…..

    grim says:
    October 3, 2016 at 9:00 am
    Nobody is going to crash a train to push a budget move, that’s insanity.

    Don’t confuse ineptness with conspiracy.

  25. chicagofinance says:

    That fat load is out of central casting for a sleep apnea commercial….he fell asleep…simple….

    Steamturd still chopping says:
    October 3, 2016 at 10:58 am
    I guarantee you that crashed train engineer either had a stroke or they’ll say he had a stroke. They will never admit that he fell asleep.

  26. chicagofinance says:

    Sandy’s issue was that there was another weather system in perfect position over New England to force Sandy due west when by rights it should have just gone out to sea…..it was a wild stroke of bad luck…..

    grim says:
    October 3, 2016 at 10:05 am
    Worth noting, Matthew’s track is nearly identical to Sandy.

  27. chicagofinance says:

    Directly contradicts the comments of dozens of passengers…..

    fcuking bald faced liars……

    “The engineer also said the train was operating at 10 mph as it approached the station. He told investigators he has no memory of the accident; he only remembers waking up on the floor of the cab.

    The train’s conductor was also interviewed, and he said he didn’t see anything unusual about the speed of the train, Dinh-Zarr said.”

  28. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Chifi,

    I’m guessing the really good sales on ARs are over at Cabelas. Meh.

  29. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Steamturd,

    When little gator wants to go to school and grad school and hand the bill back to Uncle Sam, we should talk. There are steps you can take to multiply the effect.

  30. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    All of this prevaricating won’t help NJT, nor will it help the engineer much. There is abundant physical evidence and eyewitness accounts to contradict the speed argument.

    Res Ipsa Loquitur.

  31. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    This engineer is a good example of why more people need asset protection trusts.

  32. 1987 Condo says:

    Train: I’d expect the engineer blacked out due to “diabetic shock” type issue.

    Beaches: becoming futile? Always has been, will be 15 years from now, as it was 15 years ago…

  33. Fast Eddie says:

    I drove into work today and got here about 7:20 AM. Taking the train to Secaucus, then a shuttle to Liberty State Park and then the light rail to Hoboken isn’t going to work, especially if the timings on the modified schedules don’t mesh. And with the Jewish holiday, the trip wasn’t too bad at that time but I suspect I’ll have to leave even earlier on Wednesday. I haven’t heard nothing on when service might be restored.

  34. grim says:

    I would imagine a train crash at even 10mph is going to be pretty ugly.

  35. Fast Eddie says:

    I haven’t heard nothing….

    Poor English. I “have” heard nothing.

  36. 1987 Condo says:

    Hoboken Terminal repair…months?

  37. Mc Box says:

    Repair in month? New Jersey transit wanted to redevelop that whole area into high density housing, Hudson Yards, been in the works for 8 years or so. This might just push it forward.

  38. Fast Eddie says:

    Months? I think there will be a bit of an uproar, no? Do we have a choice?

  39. 1987 Condo says:

    I was being optimistic I thought….

  40. Anon E. Moose, Second Coming of JJ says:

    Grim [9:00];

    Nobody is going to crash a train to push a budget move, that’s insanity.

    Don’t confuse ineptness with conspiracy.

    Nobody is going to get fired and/or lose a pension just because they ineptly crashed a train, either. What do you think this is, the private sector or something?

  41. Bad for Haiti is good for the Clinton Foundation. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    Looks pretty bad for Haiti – incredible amount of rain forecast. Did I hear right? Localized areas might see as much as 40 inches?

  42. I think he’s implying that there might be a conspiracy to cover up ineptness. Asleep or texting would be my guess.

    Nobody is going to crash a train to push a budget move, that’s insanity.

    Don’t confuse ineptness with conspiracy.

  43. Tywin says:

    http://realestate.nj.com/realestate-news/2016/10/the_10_hottest_real_estate_mar.html#1

    “The 10 hottest real estate markets in N.J. this year”

    Using the median sales price, average days on market and average percent of list price received for properties that sold through July, NJ Realtors’ ranked the hottest real estate markets in New Jersey this year. The ranking, which gave equal weight to each metric, excluded areas where no sales had closed.

    1. Millburn
    2. Hoboken
    3. South Orange
    4. Summit
    5. Glen Ridge
    6. Chatham Borough
    7. Montclair
    8. Fair Haven
    9. Maplewood
    10. Ridgewood

  44. No One says:

    Seems like people are really paying up for that midtown direct train to NYC. I remember when South Orange and Maplewood were considered a bit sketchy.
    In Short Hills looks like one needs to pay over $2m and $40k taxes per year to buy a house that looks like a million dollar home, and $3m for anything impressive. Zillow map looks like virtually every house has been recently sold or is currently for sale. Wife knows a wealthy Chinese immigrant bought into a $3m home a few years ago, sent their truly spoiled brat to Millburn’s middle school, after she failed to mesh with her peers sick of Chinese immigrants moving in for the school they packed her off to Blair Academy where she fits in better.

  45. grim says:

    Stu – he moved west again…

  46. Steamturd thinking Cankles should be included in the hyper incarceration says:

    There must be something in the Gulf or in the NorthEast which is causing that sharp turn off Georgia. Its still way too early. I wouldn’t predict it to impact our weather until 6 days from now minimum. I like to venture guesses, but wouldn’t until we are within 4 days with this one. For now, I’ll collect data.

  47. chicagofinance says:

    One of the two financial crisis foreclosure houses finally went to the sheriff sale this month……..only took 9 years……

  48. Joyce says:

    Grim,
    What is that chart showing? The red line is most probable and the other lines are less possible routes?

  49. chicagofinance says:
  50. Joyce says:

    Unbelievable, read the whole story

    State approves pension for Paterson cop who was on nine-year paid suspension in sex case
    http://www.northjersey.com/news/state-approves-pension-for-paterson-cop-who-was-on-nine-year-paid-suspension-in-sex-case-1.167084

  51. 3b says:

    53 that is a shocking disgrace!!

  52. Steamturd thinking Cankles should be included in the hyper incarceration says:

    Joyce. Exactly. The red is the consensus based on the consensus of the all of the modeled tracks. Though, I still believe it’s way to soon to predict this storms impact up here.

  53. Steamturd thinking Cankles should be included in the hyper incarceration says:

    Here are all of the potential tracks. Now you know why you can’t make a call just yet.

    http://www.tropicaltidbits.com/storminfo/14L_tracks_latest.png

    I think Grim only posted the Euro, which is a trusted one, but it’s not always right.

  54. Grim says:

    Pray for Haiti

  55. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Rory,

    It is stunning. Also, I can see why you like it. I can see the attraction.

    It’s no secret that I disagree with Obama’s policies and politics. But what under is a portrait of an egomaniac, a narcissist. Not a Trump in that regard, but more so than I figured him to be. I suppose I should have seen that coming

  56. Steamturd thinking Cankles should be included in the hyper incarceration says:

    Wyclef Jean will do well.

  57. chicagofinance says:

    Obama is such an arrogant asshole…how can you be quoted saying this? “Objectively, if you look back, we managed what was the largest environmental disaster in American history — at least in the continental United States — better than or as well as any administration ever has.”

  58. Fabius Maximus says:

    Eddie Ray

    “more so than I figured him to be” I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here, in that I think your dog whistle may be tuned to a different frequency.

    Where you see egomaniac, I see pragmatic. If your are not going to drive the bus then get out of the seat.

    I said way back , that the GOP could have asked for anything (Tort Reform?) in the healthcare negotiations. That article hit almost every point I have espoused in here, in the last, almost (OMFG) 10 years. Here you see there was no compromise to be had. As Lieberman was name checked in here, that was a good point, the battle began and he was the 40 +1.

  59. Fabius Maximus says:

    CHI
    “Obama is such an arrogant asshole…how can you be quoted saying this? “Objectively, if you look back, we managed what was the largest environmental disaster in American history — at least in the continental United States — better than or as well as any administration ever has.”

    Very, very easily. You measure against Katrina.

    My favorite part from that article
    “And we literally had to invent a way to solve it. It came in very handy that I had a Nobel Prize–winning physicist as my Energy secretary. And he literally designed a little cap that essentially served as the specs for the construction of a mechanism to close the darn hole. But that took three months!”

  60. Fabius Maximus says:

    Sorry, I had friends on the train and this still comes up.

    Tests were clean!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig3GcDBjQN4

  61. Fabius Maximus says:

    “America has emerged in recent decades as a high-tax country. So $2.5 trillion or more is now trapped overseas in the coffers of American companies that dare not bring it home.

    They fear that much of it will be taken away in taxes. Hillary Clinton, meet “Atlas Shrugged.” She and President Obama have learned the hard way that the owners of that $2.5 trillion are in a position to wait.

    If the $2.5 trillion trapped overseas were allowed home, Trump pointed out Tuesday, it could be put to work by companies to create factories and jobs in, among other places, America’s inner cities.

    Clinton has offered nothing to address this. She’d essentially continue Obama’s economic policy even though he’s set to be the only president in modern American history never to have had a single year of growth of 3 percent or higher.”

    My stance on deferred income is pretty well documented. This sets up an interesting discussion. “How much does Trump make on an Deferred Holiday at say 5%”

  62. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Rory,

    Tort reform? That’s a nonstarter on the left side of the aisle. Always has been. It’s practically a democratic third rail.

    I always considered Obama arrogant but I now see much more narcissism than mere arrogance. As for pragmatism, I don’t see it. Pragmatism is embracing the art of the possible. Not just settling for half a loaf but figuring out how to bake it better. Obama was always visibly uncomfortable with that. Accepting a partial victory isn’t pragmatism, it’s settling. And spin.

    As for dog whistles, please. You aren’t one to talk.

  63. Fabius Maximus says:

    Side Discussion,

    Say Trump wins. How much does he make from it?
    Looking at Geitner, Paulson et al, you get a Freebie to rearrange your finances with no IRS hit as you move into the job. Given Trump is funneling a lot through himself?

    Eddie Ray??

  64. Fabius Maximus says:

    ” Pragmatism is embracing the art of the possible”

    And when the other side is saying “Nothing is possible”, what do we call that?

  65. Fabius Maximus says:

    The point on Tort Reform is that the GOP could have laid down their demands on what they wanted. Even if the Left hated them, they would have been on the table. The GOP could’ve claimed them in a victory settlement, but the GOP couldn’t even come to the table.

  66. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    Rory,

    All that happens usually is relinquishment of investment control. They hand management off. Generally this is isn’t recognition

    On obstruction, I recall quite vividly that the democrats held a presser to announce that they would obstruct W. That collapsed on 9-11.

  67. Comrade Nom Deplume, the Deplumiest. says:

    And I do recall tort reform was raised. It went nowhere.

    So your point was that the GOP is at fault for not pursuing an agenda item that was DOA?

Comments are closed.