From the Onion:
For the third straight month, sales on preexisting homes dropped, leading realtors to call it a “buyer’s market.” Here are some strategies sellers are using to entice buyers:
- Dropping price by 50 bucks
- Carrying around wad of money; acting like owning this house got them that money
- Pointing out dishwasher several times
- Explaining to potential buyers how fulfilling it is to make mortgage payment on time
- Telling long, touching story about how grandmother needs $312,500 for kidney operation
- Letting third blouse button go
- Drowning out sound of noisy furnace with soulful vocals of Michael McDonald
- Reassuring buyers that people purchase things they can’t afford all the time